stillness

everyone who had known me long enough knows i love the night. be it the stillness of the night or the colourful, loud night of the downtown. i ardor them both. its been long time since i engage in the enjoyment of the later. sometime i do miss it. the smell of tobacco and beer. the dazzling nightlight and rowdy human cheers. i am an observer, i enjoy watching more than the real deal of being in the action.

here i am in the room at 2am. i sense the stillness of the night. the peace and calmness comforts me. even my body relaxes. i sense my lungs expand with every breath i take, if i keep really still i can almost feel my heart pumping. with the steady hum of the fan next to me and the smoothing voice of norah jones singing through my earphone. i feel like i can just vanish into the thin air and start floating around weightless and free. the stillness of the night brings with it great peace within, once experienced it you will agree with me, it is better than all other extreme burst of emotions.

i wonder is this how heaven will be like?

alpha

i remembered a blog entry by a fellow nurse blogger (but i forgot his/her name/nick). it was something about the co-workers. how some people tries to be the alpha and steps on those below him/her. putting others down and nitpicking on others' fault.

the fear of the Lord marks the starts of wisdom- its one of those verses that were painted on a certain secondary school in the west. the Lord teaches us, to be the leader, we must 1st learn to be humble and serve (the dirty feet of those in ur team). serving is a double-edge sword. how to be perceive as serving with humility and still gain the respect vs serving and get bully? leading is a double-edge sword too. a slave driver vs a influencing leader. KPI vs team morale.

if only we exist in a 1 man island, we will not be conform by rules and policy (except for our own). things will get done the way how we want it to be. yet... human was never made to be loner (damn!) we are created to socialise and as history has it...in almost every perfect setting there will surely butt out an idiot that will ruin the entire play. adam had his eve, jesus had his judas... (hahaha... clinton had his monica l.?! haha...)

so what is my point? i have no idea too. i have drift off tangle again. maybe that's why God wants me to be among other human to help me stay in track? as for the alpha fight? hmm... i would love to be the alpha but its too much of an uphill task. without much determination and passion for worthless fight, i had decided to cruise on. afterall promotion comes from the Lord. beta? gamma? omega? oh...anything lar... take me and use me as U will, Lord.

psalm 23

i am tried, drained and frustrated- mainly streamed from the root of unmet expectation. i sought for comfort in the words of the Lord. perhaps the answer had always been there, rooted in truth. yet my unwillingness to embrace it make it hard to truly feel that rest and peace offered.

its period of transition but nobody is making it easy. not that i am begging for anyone to empathise with me on it; afterall i am too familiar with my own policy of "its ur own problem, deal with it!". i am seeking for a inner peace, a pace that can syncronise with the world. no point, i run at 2x the speed when the world around me remain at 0.5x speed. it will kill myself trying to change the world. afterall even sony decided to drop its HD project.

psalm 23
--------
the Lord is my shepherd
i have everything i need
He lets me rest in green meadows
He leads me beside peaceful streams
He renews my strength
He guides me along right paths
bringing honor to His name

even when i walk
through the dark valley of death
i will not be afraid
for You are close beside me
Your rod and Your staff
protect and comfort me

You prepare a feast for me
in the presence of my enemies
You welcome me as a guest
anointing my head with oil
my cup overflows with blessings
surely Your goodness and unfailing love
will pursue me
all the days of my lie
and i will live in the house of the Lord forever

health assessment, lesson 1

it had been fun sitting in a class listening from 9 to 4 with only an hour break in between. it had been a long time since i last had to sit this still for such long time. =) but nevertheless it is an interesting lesson!

i met a old friend, err... more like acquaintance? anyway, she is completing her deg this sem! wow!! imagine if i had started my deg early this could me! but on 2nd thots, i am not green wtih envy. cuz, having worked in a clinical setting before taking the course allow me to relate better to what i am studying; why i am doing what i need to do. =)

i met a few other people that work in the same building as me. there was a girl from the A side and those from A&E. haha... but i am not in good terms with any of them. reason #1- i don't know them and i didn't offer to struck the 1st hi, reason #2- yes. we had ever met in the course of work but i didn't show them happy faces so... ya, u get the point. haha.. imagine lah... u r busy and then someone wheel the pt in from A&E. the bmu called saying pt is fair on wheelchair but the one coming in is on trolley with drip and oxygen and to top it off... IT WAS 8.30PM! haha.. get the point? where to get the energy and joy to be friendly? as for the A side lady... hmm... i will just say it as retribution for giving the same unfriendliness experience to the A&E girls bah. yes... yes... its a vicious cycle. heehee... we are all a batch of deeply misunderstood ladies. =P

did i mention that my 'old frd' is the cover girl for her company and the career switch prog? she aspired to be a midwife. i wish to be a nurse practioner (but honestly is it viable in sg?). i wonder what is urs?

i am sick- no, REALLY lar

i realised i have a trend. if i am upset and if i internalised the emotion i will fall ill. in the past i will get gastic flu. perhaps i am too much of a carefree person so my system does not handle sadness, anger and rejection too well. i needed to cry or actively rant my emotion out (audio) but i did neither of it recently. i used to watch tear-jerkers movies to make me cry but i ...err... too tired liao. can't be bother...

so now i am ill. i am having running nose now, fever and swollen eyes. damn it! hopefully i don't catch that MRSA nasal shit. this goes to prove that unsettled emotions will build up within our human health system and eventually affect the health of the individual. and it had been proven by some reliable sources and unforgiveness is one of the most common root of gastric uclers! and in certain studies- cancer. it is said that when the individual began to open up, speak abt the issues and starts to release that anger and forgive, their uclers slowly began to heal itself up at a faster rate than merely taking med! wow...

since i am off on sunday (for lessons), i am seriously comtemplating if i should get an MC on monday.

work-beware LONG ENTRY

so tired that i don't feel like blogging abt work anymore. why am i always bitching abt work? i am so sick and tired of my own bitching. yet i want to give thanks to my patients and their families! this is the 1st time since the start of the year that i am giving thanks for this!

taking over from the AM shift i have 2 empty beds, 1 pending for transfer in the PM, 1 d/c in the PM, 1 threaten AOR and 1 in the OT most probly to HD. that will mean that i will have technically 6 empty beds to turn over in 1 shift! making things more stressful the jr in the AM was infamous lady M.

while passing report, i told my jr to remember to fold those charts that are not completed and to ensure that AM jr does her everything before leaving. but in respond my jr was asking weird questions that how can i from PM or the AM ic answer for the AM jr? eg-"why the chart not update? why all the wound chart not update?" when told to just fold it up and ask the AM jr, her reply was "aiyo, i am folding everything. why like that?" none of the AM/PM ic was in the mood to gossip or to engage in small talk like such. we totally ignored her.

after report, new cases started to bugged me. 1 hugh thing that makes me boiled was this: my jr was sitting next to the phone. the phone rang and rang but she didn't picked it up. i was preparing my iv meds then. so i stared at her. do you know what she did?!?!?! SHE PICKED UP THE PHONE AND HANDED IT OVER TO ME WITHOUT ANSWERING IT! *vomit blood ++++* i answered the called, after that i can't contain it anymore and said in a hash tone (like scolding my younger siblings) "you very funny leh. why you can't answer the phone meh? must hand it over to me? somemore sitting there somemore" then... *drumroll* that start the black-face competition! see who can be most blackface of the shift sort.

10 minutes later. bed 9 had her tap done. i was giving bed 12 iv meds. then dr came to me for help on something. I AM GIVING IV MEDS LOR! so i called my jr to help. she SITTING at the counter asked "what?" i replied can u come over and help the dr at bed 9. SHE IS A STAFF NURSE BUT ACTED LIKE A STUDENT, when the dr told her the problem. CRITICAL THINKING!!! and she can't produce it! she stared at the dr and can't solve it. AIYO.... STAFF NURSE LEH...NO BRAIN TO THINK MEH? me half way giving IV med to a relatively difficult pt + family, handling sharps and doing some service recovery shit at the same time have to answer some dumb question just cuz my SN has NO thinking skill!!! i really want to die on the spot!

my world came crashing at 3.45pm onwards. problem started with CX's dumb co-ordination. she gave me a pt from day-surgery then cancel it without telling anyone or conforming with the other side. the OT called and called for the bed. finally i get someone to fetch the pt only to have another patient being wheeled up from A&E 20 minutes after. to make things worst, CX refuse to solve the problem! i kicked a fuss, she screamed at me saying she is going to call and solve the problem. ok fine.. i stood there doing another thing, 5 minutes later the A&E staff came and ask CX what's the outcome. CX HAD TOTALLY FORGOT ABT THE WHOLE THING!! AND REDIRECT THE A&E STAFF TO TALK TO ME!! i was standing there, remembered? so i said "HELLO. its the same problem that you told me that you are going to settle remember?" after some arguement, i let fly and shouted "watever lar" with sis Su sitting at the computer.

I REALLY HAVE ENOUGH WITH ALL THESE NON-NURSING SHIT THAT WE HAVE TO PUT UP WITH!!!

that 'extra' pt was placed in bed 1. new pt vs pt back from OT. which is more critical? i don't know leh... my jr left the post-op lady on the bedpan and went on to waste some time. then she went to take new pt bed 1 parameter. i was calling the OTO team to review patient only to realise that i have no parameter to report. DAMN! after the phone-call. i looked at my jr and asked her. which is more important leh? post op hourly para or new pt (in for vomitting) para? somemore!!! she do para with machine one loh! like that still can take 15 minutes for 1 para!! *faint* then bed 4 shit all over herself at that time. bed 2 low Hb came in. everything started rushing!! my hands are tied and my jr is SLOW!

to wrap things up, i was crazy-running here and there. my AOR bed 8 and my PM d/c bed 13 and transfer case bed 12- all pity me! hahaha... at 1 point i nearly complaint to bed 12 abt my jr! but i think its really not good to do so, so i shut up and said don't want to say already wait pple say i talk bad abt others. my bed 12 so funny, still comfort me saying that must let out the steam if not will get sick one. haha.. so cute and funny! finally i settle the AOR and d/c case. they were really understanding!!! then said byebye to bed 12, after giving all her iv, injection, her pm meds. collect blood for bed 2. then... the whole cycle of admission start again! its was already 8.30pm!!! and i had not really look at the new admission orders!!!

FOR THE 1ST TIME IN HISTORY I WANT TO CRY ON THE JOB!! i had ever cried before cuz i dislike a few things and few unjustfied with regard to a few issues. BUT ON THE JOB?? NEVER!! i was never stress to that point of not being able to handle it anymore. the sound of the trolley's wheels makes me want to cry, stab myself with a knife and die!

if my jr is more proactive and a little 'smarter'. i don't mind doing things for her and other shit. but no lor... for the 1st time i finally understand why there were cases where some staff specifically request NEVER TO BE PUT IN THE SAME SHIFT AND SAME ROOM WITH SOME OTHER STAFF. i finally experienced it! i told YP that i NEVER EVER WANT TO WORK WITH WANG WANG AGAIN! yes!!! nEVER! if i ever see that we are together, i will immediately fake MC- and i am great at doing that! not a threat but a damn loud angry statement with really intensed feeling!

i have officially and openly display my displeasure with her (wang wang) and she knows that i was telling the ND girls abt her. she can be unhappy and dislike me from now. cuz my policy is... u don't like me, is ok. cuz i don't like u too.

honestly if wang wang is sick and weak, shouldn't she goes on mc? rather than come to work and does only 1/2 the amount of work than she can produce. then what? i have to be 1 and 1/2 becuz of that? its 3 am now, should i call in sick too? get an mc and report in as anaemia too. afterall its really not so hard for me.

interesting

rather interesting to see how the world 'turns'. i used to have a website in multiple for the sake of cell-bonding. and it was so so so... long ago! bet it had been years since the last time i update that webby.

although i knew a co-work blogs on that website, i didn't bother to add her as frd. afterall she doesn't blog often and i don't update that site too. then recently another co-worker and another co-worker hopped into the website and started to blog there too. well... yes, i accepted them as friends and i guess they must be reading that site and looking at those pictures. *shruds* anything lor... actually it doesn't matters anymore... cuz it officially cold storage liao..

but the funny part is that although i know that i have that website, i had problem remebering the password and id i had! it took me hours figuring out the id and password! aiyo...

settling down...feet on the ground

i have settle a few outstanding things that had been pending in my mental inbox. it feels great to be more settle. at least my heart is not beating at irregular beats and my hands are less sweating!

but i really DISLIKE Dell's keyboard. the feel is just not enticing enough. i prefer my our laptop's keys but too bad some of them had died on my so i can't use them. i wonder how much a kepboard is. perhaps i will buy one? but then again... why waste that money when i have a working keyboard?

i remembered reading somewhere where a man started an "exchange" program. he will go around the state to exchange things will people. it started with a paper clip and ended as a house! cool yah? maybe i should start 1 too. anyone has any idea which is the most active forumn in singapore?!

excited~

i am excited!!! yes...i am! i can't contend my excitment to the point that i find myself stumbling at my own words. there will be so many eassy to write and articles to read. plus presentation at the toastmaster club meeting! yippee... excitment at last. =)

i love to do presentation, be graded and recieve feedback. but along with presentation comes the attention off stage and that is something that i don't particularly like. but what the heck! let me start my 1st TM project drafting! =)

i am suppose to introduce myself to the club member. gosh! i hate this sort of topic. describe yourself lah or tell us something about you lar. *faint* how can anyone truly introduce hiim or herself in merely 10 mins? some people take a life time to find themselves and yet they may never be able to know their real life. so asking me to do it, is plain torture! *grinning teeth*

books

i always love bookstores. stepping into one can almost immediately transcend me into a state of peacefulness and calmness. as i stepped into times today looking for "ps.i love you" that feeling of peace overwhelmed me. if not for the fact that i wanted to clock enough attendance % for the meeting thing, i would had stayed for a coffee while picking up a book. =)

with a tear in my heart, i approached the staff to help me look for the book to hasten my departure from the store. to my great dismay!!! it is SOLD OUT!!! shit... i should had bought it when i saw it last week but i wanted to wait, wanted to watch the movie 1st, wanted to be free enough to read then buy... then... now?!?! *damn! grinning teeth*

as i glanced down i saw the book "kite runner". i read the movie review and found the plot very interesting. but had yet to watch the movie. it is another novel turned movie show lar. so i was wondering should i buy this book instead. guess wat? i DIDN'T! good girl rite? haha... actually b'cuz i think it will be better if i spend my time reading my course material iinstead. =( *sigh* let the sch life rolls!

ps- if any one of u happen to buy either "ps.i love u" or "kite runner" do loan me! i can't promise the date of return but i'm sure i will! =)

on the path of dying

on the topic of dying...

my grp used to do a social-presentation on enuthasia. so did the research. although most countries are still against this, there are drs actually helping chornic patients lessen and shortening their suffering. eg-by the request of the patients, they stop the patients' medicines. but these patients are monitored regularly, NOT left to die on their own in some stinky, cold and musky room.

example- a cancer patient. her intention is to die but the process of her illness is not serious enough to kill her yet. the drs and the country's laws do not approve of enuthasia but all of them respect the decision an individual to seek active treatment or not. so in this case, the drs will not carry out chemo/ RT for the patient. only palliative care is rendered, to minimise the pain and allow the person to die with ease and dignity. hmm... there are also cases of drs giving chemo/ RT as pallative treatment to aid with the breathing and sort. hmm... is that to save the cancer patient from dying of hypooxia instead of the progression of cancer? *puzzle*

dying is still a very thin fine line. threading on it, is plain dangerous. too active and too much zeal will protray one as wanting to play god. yet closing both eyes to it will be an coward act. if birth is glorious then let death be dignifying!

rubbish on my mind

1-i feel sick. i think i am getting a gastric flu. tummy rumbling. =(

2-new uniform is white and i already got black ink stain on my day 1! i look damn pale in white. 1 person commented i look fairer now in white! she joked that i should change my name to xiaobai. huh?! but xiaobai is crayon shin (xiaoshin)'s doggy! *faint*

3-my AgNC M will make a good top management! yes, i always think that way of her. she is good at talking and after a long chat with her, one will always come out knowing we had chatted for a long time but lack the grasp of what had just happened. haha.. =P isn't that wat most top management does with their lower ranks? beat around the bush while making others feel like they are trying to tackle the problem. haha...

anyway, i have no idea why she wanted to talk to me. she asked me a question but i lack the answering ability cuz i really have no strong feelings towards the issue anymore. so most of the time she was the one talking. but that's fine. cuz i love to listen to others talk. giving myself a good time to rest aka spaceout. =P

4-going to 'school' in a few more hours time. thrill...nervous...doubtful...excited... =)

5-while others are sobbing cuz their mummy is dying. i am not affected but had dealt with it as if it is afterall a case only. telling them its a about time and BP is dropping with a straight face. back at the counter i can smile, joke with other patients. hmm.. how heartless had i become!

yet, its true...life does go on for the living. dying is perhaps a better escape route out of this malfunctioning machine. memories are cherished and good to remember but holding on to a person base on that? is plain heartless and childish, i think. mummy is so very sick but because i love mummy i want everything done to save her. even if she is a veg. i want her alive?! hmm...suddenly i remember a story of a little girl whose daddy bought a fake pearl necklace on her 4th birthday. she had much fun with it and adores the necklace. but 1 day she accidentally broke it, all the pearls came loose and the necklace is now unable to be worn. little girl cried day and night. so 1 day after a week, daddy came to little girl and ask her to handle over her old pearl necklace but little girl refused. daddy even took out a new necklace to replace the old one but little girl still refused! cuz to her old pearl necklace was too dear to her. her microscopic view had made her missed the opportunity for something better. so my dear friends... is it active or max ward management for u, if u r faced with the same dilema?

pau power

somebody blogged abt my pau eating habit and then someone replied. reading those entries made me felt like i ought to be nailed to a tree or something! haha...

pau power like i said was not all that effective! =( but pau power transfer is damn cool! since pau power has not much effect on me but on 2nd thots pau power does get transferred. either someone will eventually have to pack or it will be a damn busy day. eg- lots of transfer here and there, lots of d/c or sudden events.

ok, i know i am terrible a-hole making others "suffer". should i stop eating pau? hmm.. i am a thick-skull idiot and a secret rebel so ... "i will eat what i want and shit where i want!" *kicking and screaming plus rolling on the floor* (like that crazy kid i once saw in toy'r'us) haha... =P

so wat's the conclusion? will i stop eating pau? hmm... its for me to know and for the world to guess lor.. bet nobody will be interested to find out anyway. =P

why....

i had been seriously wanting not to blog abt work for a long. honestly there wasn't much to blog abt anyway. there is indeed life beyond work and i am enjoying it. sleeping early, watching my dvds and playing sudoku. =)

yet there are things in the workplace that makes me wonder. why are there people that are so rude and they actually think that by being rude they can be more superior. the fact is, i despise such creatures. yes! CREATURES! they are not even fit to be human! with the vast knowledge and experience of living, why can't they be more decent? tell me shit and expect me to be nice? damn it! i hope to curse them straight in the face and wish their parent died! but too bad for 1 lady, cuz her sons are rude but she is not. so... should i curse her too? nah... i will remind kind for the moment, afterall she made pineapple tarts for us once. haha.. i forgive her sons lar. heehee... i found it amusing when her husband actually said sorry to me for his rude son's behavior! haha... idiot son though! uncle said "u give me face lar. don't be angry, ok? u r a nurse should be more compassionate. don't be angry ok?" i would love to had snap at him and complaint abt his son at that point but... i was too busy. don't really want to be bothered by it and waste my time discussing stuff that had happened.

also why do relatives love to ask for update at god-forsaken time eg-when u r giving meds, half way doing h/c or when u r busy with other shit? still we got to smile and do the needful. i will certainly love to tell u what is wrong with u mom/ granny/ aunt but i am not free leh. so ok, i did the needful. i explained the problem, i even give u a bio. lesson with some chemistry and pharmacology thrown in. please don't ask me why is the lady lying on the bed so ill and why is she breathing so hard! we suctioned her, we repositioned her, propped up and did everything already. what do the people want to hear? aiyoo... i am no dr lar! if i can explain everything, i can be god liao lor... *faint*

another why... why are some people so easily excited? excited over this and that. can relax a little and be less excitable? the more excitable they are, the more undecisive they are and the more work we all need to do. crazy lady, want this stat and that stat. stupid leh... so excited that she came to me 2x to get things done STAT! on the 2nd time she was more polite and said "can u get one of ur collegue to help take the blood and send it of as urgent?" and then i replied "but its GXM leh" haha.. then she went "oh, yah." and went off, perhaps to stress her HO. haha.. and the other poor accident-prone lady came and took the bloods. poor patient 1 shift only kena poked at leass 4 times! *faint* all because of some undecisive crazy excitable lady.

even as i am blogging this, i am not frustrated or angry. just amused at what had happened in the day. i kept questioning myself "did i overwork my jr cuz i think i didn't help @ all. why was i so unsettle thru'out the shift when generally speaking the room was not very busy. why?!" i think i am crazy. haha...

recent updates

1-
i watched ps-i love you, today. great show, watch it! i am going to buy the book! =) so i will revisit the scenes and get all drool-y again! haha... =9 yummy...

2-
i had 5 pau in the past 1 week! haha... the highest records in the past 3 yrs i think! i never really like to eat pau but recently i ate with a purpose! to be the angel of mercy- to pack pts off. the 1st 3 pau, packed 2 and intubated 1. but out of the 2 packed, only 1 was my intended target. so today, i tried eating another 2 more pau (big pau somemore!) but the 2 that i had targetted had real 'tough' lives! there was the nearly flat...almost there but not quite yet. damn it... pau power failed! =(

3-
my 1st time to an indian temple wedding coming this sat. pretty excited. wonder what will it be like. must be damn colorful. but its vegean dinner. =( maybe will have to plan for round 2 after the wedding.

4-
planning to watch "fool's gold" maybe on 19th Feb. but on second thots i had been spending too much money on movies and pop-corns! damn... 1 ticket average abt $8, 1 set of combo $9. for this month alone i think i had spent $68!! shit!! imagine the amount of vcd i can rent! haha.. anyway, tats just random thots

death

death, i think i prefer it over birth. i am no sadist. just that living is pure suffering sometime if we think abt it in detail. yet the werid part of it is that most of us actually enjoy living (aka suffering)! i am no stranger to death, i had seen how pple get ill-> turned bad -> die. this process is as natural as how flowers bud and bloom but eventually wither. its a cycle.

why do i prefer death? i like it cuz its definite. its a STOP to everything. although spiritually its another story. but its predictable. u see the person grasping for air/ vomitting blood/ slip into coma and u know the end is near. but the road to the eventual FULLSTOP is tiring and frustrating! the pain, the suffering, the concerns and worries and the fear. nursing those dying make me want to help them die! haha... no worries... although i had expressed my keen-ness for euthanasia i will not do the unlawful!

just some random thots...

toastmaster-feb

the word of the evening was indeliable

indelible \in-DEL-uh-buhl\, adjective:
1. That cannot be removed, erased, or washed away.
2. Making marks that cannot easily be removed or erased.
3. Incapable of being forgotten; memorable.

explaination taken from http://dictionary.reference.com/

but.... the most impressive word that jotted me out of my seat that evening was .... superfluous

su·per·flu·ous [soo-pur-floo-uhs] –adjective 1. being more than is sufficient or required; excessive.
2. unnecessary or needless.
3. Obsolete. possessing or spending more than enough or necessary; extravagant.


wat a cool word, right? yes... yes... bet you, who is out there somewhere commenting how an ignorant person i am. its alright for you to think that way, as long i am don't think that of myself. =P

leap year

oh... 29th feb is always filled with this mystical aura. some people said those borne on that date are ill-fated, cursed children. afterall who would loves to celebrate their birthdays once every 4 years? plus there had been some tales about how this data had been associated with earthquaks, volanco eruption and stuff. yet there had been novels and stories written about how people of different backgrounds and culture romantically met on such a special and unique date and then fell in love, got married and stuff. honestly every day such things happen but just because its 29th feb these interesting things seems to be highlighted.

this yr 29th feb a new movie will be screened.

i like the male lead in this movie. i 1st saw me on a thai movie, i think his name is Ananda Everingham . i read somewhere that he acted on "shutter" too.

the movie which got me 'hooked' on him - me...myself (recommended by a fellow blogger)

i think Ananda Everingham looks a little like our local Gumit Singh!

what did u do this cny?

how did u spend ur chinese new year? stay up late, eat, drink, smoke and gamble?

i did the usual, eat and be merry (which i had been doing everyday in fact!) and on top of it, i watched a movie! its my 1st time watching a movie on cny. the queue for the tickets were so long that... i didn't bother to queue but let my hubby buys it 2hours before the actual screening. =P for that, i agreed to watch the movie that he wanted to watch "ah long Pte Ltd". it was funny.

this time the dig was at the malaysia's political scene. but i was a little surprised to note those scenes used in the trailers not being in the movie. hubby said its the censorship, now... that makes sense. after all those 'complaints' and dicussion abt mr neo 'glorifying' the ah longs, those scenes in the trailers may be a little too politcally incorrect.

jack neo ah long movie

my take on the movie- watch it but if u can afford to wait, a DVD will be worth the keeping.

toastmaster clips

a very funny speech, although i am not very comfortable with the speaker's accent.


i like her voice. calm and smoothing. some peopl just have that theraptic voice. =)

toastmaster is a rather interesting club. almost like a knowledge bank only that all we need to do is listen to other's speeches rather than having to study on all those topics ourselves. a lazy but certainly interesting and helpful shortcut. =)

rumbles-abt work

am i going to complaint again? i know there are people out that screaming at me "enough abt work already! shout up! live with those crazy brainless grumbles!" yet its my blog and i will blog as i please. yes... i will and shall continue to do so. bite me!

i am not complainting abt my partner today. there isn't a thing to complaint abt her actually. she did her work, she did it her pace. i didn't help her a bit honestly i don't really care if i help her or not. why? cuz i think there is no point being nice to a person that hold great potential in bully me. LOL... =P apart from her not completing my NCR-admission interview which she claims she had no way of communication with the pts. she did her charts and her work well. =)

then why am i black face and angry?! i am angry cuz my work desk is damn messy! and the new HO loves to bring the casenotes away and never return it to place!!! i am angry b'cuz i have 2 admissions, 1 E-OT case, 2 line-insertion back from HD at the same time, 1 bld transfusion. and... a very siao'on co-worker that loves to stay and complete her work til late late...all the while sitting at the work desk. very in the way lor... *faint* i don't mind her sitting there (or do i?!) but she kept doing the unnecessary, like helping me answer calls, recieve orders and instructions from Drs/ therapist. aiyo... like that how on earth can her work be completed?! *fume*

so... technically i got my offical handover at abt 4.30~5pm. but by than i was starting to get busy and i was unable to do my documentation. i was busy answering call-bells (why are there so many?!) and attending to pple who wants everything stat!!

B's family panick with every single alarm, even when femoral-line lady#2 bro was talking to me 1/2 way that B's daughter also can't wait. siao! then cough cough ah mah family also... *faint* i have no idea who and how they care for the lady! everyone looks so concern and well-dressed but ah mah looks like dirt! *spit* i-need-a-pint lady was the best! with hb as low as 5, she was still sweet and lovable. may her soul be bless! oh and that missy-ah ah mah... *faint + coma* she just kept shouting.. wake up from her nap only call for dinner liao... while it was not even 5pm!!! after explaining she shut up for a while but after that when we still serving she started screaming again! why does she keep thinking we will deprive her of her food, med,, changing of diaper and shower?! did she has a trouble childhood?! =P and mdm home-cm's daughter had so much 'property' that it spill over to my work-desk! excuse me lor... me see, what is not mine.. me throw! haha... she learnt her lesson. then later she pull the roller chair and said she wanted to sit, i said NO! its for the drs and staff only. haha... then she paise and push it back to the desk. aiyoo... too friendly also cannot! mdm bilateral UL swelling lady had diahorea at the wrong timing and when we were all so busy sending, fetching pt that time she poopoo many many til i have to change her. *faint* there are more to complaint but i am too tired to type all liao... my favourite patients now are basically lady mac'donaldes, lady femoral line #2 (#1 is so whinny!!) and lady dancer (she danced at her home's dinner event! wow..)

tomor i will be in another room doing jr work. *sigh* will it be just as busy?! hopefully not! i had pull the 2 silly pineapples down so we should not be so 'wang'. maybe should look for some sailing boat to put at the ward ... yi-fan-feng-shu meaning smooth sailing all the way.

ps-there were other interesting happening in every room today! mdm i-want-to-bite-my-tongue in the front and miss i-want-to-my-med-stat next door. my room? small case compared to theirs. MUST BE THAT SILLY PINEAPPLEs LAR!

moive- helen the baby fox

i am no movie freak or drama addict although i seems like it. i just like to see lives of others from another person's view and what better way than thru a movie/ drama. no matter how blown out the drama/ movie is, there is always some truth to it. afterall most stories are inspired by the happenings around the scirpt-writer. =)

yet the choice of my movies/ drama never depart far from the topic of 'humanity'. i prefer plots that explore human's feelings. =) "helen the baby fox" is just another of such movie.

Helen The Baby Fox Trailer


apart from using children in the movie (which confirm can reach out to the adults, cuz kids have cute faces mah!) the producer uses a BABY FOX! note the 2 different words...BABY and FOX. sure win liao lor... heehe... but cute faces without a good plot hardly attracts me for very long. =P

yet this movie delivers all that i desire. the senerity of the rual japan, the pictures are so vivid that i thought i could feel the wind blowing thru my hair and i could almost smell the beautiful flowers! b'cuz of the longing that taichi had for his own mother, he could understand helen's need for its own mummy fox. but since mommy fox is gone, taichi doubled up as its mummy and care for it. i love the part when taichi said that it doesn't matter if helen get well or not, what matter is that i am with her. who can decide what is the best for helen? and then taichi in his very innocent way ran off to look for helen. what a touching moment! and alas!! helen actually cried out for the 1st time for its mummy (aka taichi)!. =`( *sob*

Piano song from the japan movie 'Helen the Baby Fox'

*ps- adjust ur vol if u r going to play this video! i think its a little to loud and sharp. =)


the movie ponder me to think... if human beings are allowed mercy death, will we as parent choose mercy death for our babies just because we think it will bring less suffering to them? or will we cherish every single hour that we have with our baby even if we know he/she will leave us eventually? its not just abt emotions but think abt the financial burden of treatment and other stuff.... *sigh* never a easy choice to make...

if u had not yet watch this OLD moive... GO WATCH IT! =)