i am a proud person

below is what my 'kid' wrote to me on her last day;

dearest est,

time passes so fast when its with you. i'm so glad that i gonna have a long holiday soon. yet feel so wasted as i can't work together with you any more...

to me, every moment spending with you is jus so happy and so fun. you make me wanna laugh from inside and turn my prcp into such a wonderful and enjoyable experience. thank you.

and the letter went on... its nice to know that i have created such an impact in the life of another human. i wish our patients write their thank you cards more often cuz knowing in actual fact that people enjoy us being around them is really rewarding (and stroke our ego!), at least to me. =)

my wish for her is that she will grow up to be the nurse that she wish she can be and have great confident in herself. may God guide every single step that she takes and send pretty angels to protect her from nasty evil people. =)

smile

the new photos place at block 4 serves an attention diverter to those waiting at the atm queue and also as a motivation to the staff of the organisation. serve with a heart and get recongised for ur hardwork that is what the company is aiming to drill into its people, a sense of pride, belonging and be appreicated. but read any management book it will tell u, its the way a good big boss should do to keep its staff happy even if it means nothing much but to the staff its a long way. lol... all these brain washing... yet sadly i do buy that idea. haha... dumb rite?

the previous pictures were placed in mini-beehive sort of arragement so... do that means we are the bottom worker-bee rank? this year its arranged in the shape of love/ heart. haha... so we are loving people now huh? haha... anyway, since i was walking past it, i stop by for 5 mins and scanned thru the pictures to see who are on it. lots of staff from my ward are on it but maybe cuz i can recongised their faces, i 'see' more of them?! i am glad to spot a good number of my cohort (acc.) girls on it too. =) there were ~10 of us bonded to sgh and out of it at least 3 of us were placed on that wall, where are the rest of them? 2 had already broke bond, 1 was away studying, 1 busy being preg and giving birth last yr, 1 in OT (pts all sedated there, one how to nominate her?) there rest are here and there lar so can't remember them all liao. =)

anyway, i am proud to say acc. students can and are just as good as the regular girls. although we come in with different backgrounds and perhaps seems 'slower' than the rest, we had proven ourselve good enough. =) sometime people see our age and trust our more, sometime because of our age, we had been through enough heartaches to empatise with the patients and their relatives. either case i trust that we had always strive to do good to all of our patients and that is comforting enough.

wow... really?

wow.. my boss see me so up sia... recently i went for the code blue sort of course and i told my boss that i enjoyed it. she seemed amazed that i was not feeling stress but rather filled with interest and excitment. i applied for my post basic diploma (also known as the specialist diploma) which means this would eventually be the single path i will be walking in now. my boss asked me why didn't i consider other courses? although she also think its too late for us to be discussing about it, i had applied and so my fate is sort of sealed in that sense. i thought she meant to ask why no genro (study abt the aged), i told her i don't like dealing with old people. well...actually its too painful to deal with dementia people and old, weak, sick people. i hate it when i have to use 'force' on them in order for them to follow instruction, tie them to the bed so that they don't do anything silly eg.pull their plug, tubes, jump out of bed and fall, etc. i hate it when i have to keep reminding them not to scratch themselves til they bled or do this and that. i found myself reasoning with them and trying to make them understand but.... like it works with a 2 or 3 yrs old!? it never works!!! argh.... *pull hair*

anyway back to the topic, my boss said she meant why didn't i opt for critical care since i found that code blue thing interesting. i might like it there. my answer was that was not part of my long term plan plus i think i am too old for such excitment. =P a critical care nurse will forever be a nurse at most a nurse practioner? but once she/he is old and slow his wisdom and experience are better off as a textbook material. either he/she teaches in school or the clincal area, he is really not much of a use (i think). cuz these area does not requires much patient contact, once patients are well enough to be talking and calling for attention, they are send out to High Dep. or general ward. thus thus... my idea of travelling the world to serve the needed or setting up my own com.hosp. certainly does not fit in any of those training. good to know in case needed but as a nurse everyone SHOULD know what, its thought in school leh. but to go in-depth...err... not my cup of tea lar...

still...i am glad that my boss thinks so highly of me. heehee... the only downside of my decision to go for this opt is that its too general so it may means that i am going to be jack of all trade but master in none and if i don't seek to improve myself more i may end up neither here nor there. hopefully it will never be so. =(

after this course, i intend to take up part-time pallative dip. and ,if God so willing, specialise in wound management. =)

we are a team!?

recently there are some people (actually mainly just 1 old man) making life really diffcult for us missies. =( his expectation is nothing short of treat me and my likes just as we are 'actually' royal-kings! he wants it, he wants it NOW. we are not allow to make error in anything at all! while he/ his kind are ok, 'cuz we are humans' wtf are we then not humans?! perhaps i may speak as if i am too emotional or too quick to judge but he isn't all that grand. he actually said these to the fip. staff 1) "i never like fip. nurses" 2)"i thot all fip. can speak very good english, what happened to you?" that is so personal!! if you are unhappy with something, say it directed to the incident but not targetting to the PERSON, rite? fantasy that to be coming out from a man with experience in life and knowledage! i am so disappointed by him. maybe we such draft a forum letter and advocate for the right of the nurses to be treated as professional, as part of a healthcare team and more importantly as a human? so what if its the encomonical bad time? does that means in order to be in a job we must lick boots and become lesser of anything or anybody? we are human, all born equal in the eyes of GOd! if not for GoD medicine will never be what it is now! for the heart of God was planted in His children who see the needs for the fellow man thus the birth of this science. i had yet to be tormented by that old man but it is sad enough to have to act as if we are fighting fire everyday! yes to raising our awareness and standard of nursing but no to the unnecessary stress for nitpicking on every little stuff on nurses!

yes, i know i am grumbling again. but i can't seems to be all sweet and chripy everytime (haha... in fact most of the time). i think i am a terrible human with evil and negative thots. thanksfully at least i target not to harm to fellow human in all that i do. =) i live by 3 simple verbs -> fast, effective and amiable.

Wound certification

i just got to know from a newsletter that i subscribe called the wound care (or something) that that is such a certification in USA! and in preparation for the test, a 17hrs course is now opened for registration in texas for all healthcare workers interested in that certification. the course is in march. i wonder if i will be interested for now i know i am. =) any sponser for US$450 + lodging (US$110 x 2 nights), i'll pay the airtickets and gst. =P

http://www.woundcertificationprepcourse.com/courses.html

Life skill course for nurses

wow... i enjoyed myself despite the stress involved. you see, we need to sit for a theroy and practical test at the end of the course thus the stress. the amount of stuff that i learnt is however far greater than the stress involved! no doubt it was just a refresher course for what i had learnt in my final year as a nursing student, it was in greater detail! afterall my last months as a student nurses was more of a relax, fun-loving mood since we all knew that part of the teaching is not directly involve in our passing grade. =)

yet now as a real staff on the ground, i realised the importance of knowing the right thing and doing the right thing at the right time. it become increasing important to know when to pronounce a person BYE-BYE at least (since my ward is usually not very action intensed place).

after the course i learnt how to read the EGC slip, what drugs to give and how, when to defib a person and how much and the greatest fun was how to intubate a person! although we will be doing none of the above in our actual ward, who knows?! maybe 1 day, it will come a time when nurses will be given the power and autonomy to function in that role when there is a delay in the medical team response? or maybe i may be recurited into a code team? =)

i love learning new things and it seems that if i transfer to A&E and ICU these will be part and parcel of the everyday work. =) would i consider doing so? hmm... i don't think so for the time being but i am REALLY looking forward to my advance dip in med-surg. if i am rejected, i will be REALLY REALLY upset. =( and if that really happens, i can't say for sure what i will do in reaction to that news. cuz from my point of view, i do have a rather positive track-record but of cuz there will always be people out there which are clever and longer in service than me that deserve the placement more than me. =(

2009 the year of abundant living

that is the statement made by my church pastor. a promise from GOd for His children- that His children will not be in wants, for He will supply all that we needs. =)

recently, we got food and more food from our clients. heehee... even if they meant "aiyo, buy so much also can't finish" i gladly take it with gee. 1st of we had a box of chocolate then fruits then birdnest (wow!) and then nasi lemak. its so nice of them to feed me since i am really trying to cut back on all my expenses. =)

hopefully the next thing we receive are taxi-coupons so i can ride taxi for free! hehee... =)

disappointed

the 'young kids' nowadays don't have a heart i think. they just do things so that they can be done with it. don't care about anything at all. things finish using just leave there, waiting for who to clear? clearly cutting - this is my job that is your job, even if pple urge them to help, can say "wait lah, that is JSDK's job" that is how quality deteriorates. diff pple, diff style. i can't imagine how it will be like in 3 yrs time, if these young kids become "mummy" and teach their "daughters" the wrong stuff. =(

in a sadist way, i am semi-excited to leave this place. either via education, transfer other places. =)

art of phrasing ur words

XX asked me if i would like to have lunch with YZD and as a matter of fact, i can't and thus i said sorry i can't. then a few minutes later someone (JJ) came up to me and ask if i will be going to the lunch and the way JJ put it makes me want to laugh. here is the conversation:

JJ: Esther are you going for the lunch?
Est: no.
JJ: but YZD ask (call u-in mandarin) you go leh.
Est (thinks i am too sensitive): wow... she call me, i must go meh? i got plans lar.
JJ: then i think i don't want to go too.
Est: orh... up to you lor. its a free country. anyway you are YZD favourite now. YZD wants to groom u.
(converstation continue... just another hi-bye, fyi sort of talk. nothing deep)

haha... i think i am really seriously considering the purpose of joining this Tmasterclub thing. Yes to public speaking but no to the true art of speaking? hehee... people that i seems to know can talk well in public but the choice of words that they use is TOTALLY horrifying. misunderstanding and petty shit araise because of the wrong use of words. =( why don't people realise it? or maybe its just here at my club? =_=??

the other clubs that i been to (only 3 others actually... =P) have a positive, vibrate vibe to it but ours is dead serious and silence is GOLD! that is so ironic isn't it? anyway... i wish more people will join the club and i can be just a member that come and listen for entertainment. no more weird posting!! i love my life as it is.... afterall i think i have figure out there are pebbles and stones more worthy of my pursuing than tiny grains of sand that can hardly fill my jar. no?

rice

who knows there are so many rice strands in the world. rice being the staple of most asians (even the central asians) can be so different in taste and sizes. look careful enough u will see that some rice grains are longers, fats and their texture can be totally different too. what is your favourite? thai's fragrant rice or the unpolished rice from malaysia? maybe its the starchy jap rice? mine? i have yet to taste every single one of the those rice strands so i won't give my verdict. =P

these are products of the BRYANI HOUSE they sell different rices with the standard bryani chicken, mutton or beef. there's turkish, iran's, afaganistan-ish rice. turkish is nice. =)

nice song

the song is good although the lyrics is a bit erhm... selfish?!