Thursday, February 25, 2010

新不了情

re-watch this film again today. it had always been my favourite. its music, its story and the cast. it reminds me of the people that i work with daily. i may take it as a job and detest the wimpy and grumpy fellow that is lying on the bed. but like will i know of their past, present and future. i salute the family members that come daily to speak words of encouragement and faith into their love ones. while the fact is that they are the ones that really need those encourage and lift in their faiths. i may think they are being difficult but the truth is that is the only way they can express their love for their sick love ones. perhaps that is the only thing and method they can sense that little control in their lives that this point of time. perhaps the road along pallative, a good death is the best way to go. the truth at the end of the journey awaits the faithful one...

i had been thinking... so many people had express their interest in wound management and so had i. how many stoma nurse, wound care management nurse or even vascular do the nation needs? with the greying population and the increase of chronic illness management, perhaps i should pursue my interest in dealing with the dying? although i am high on mercy, i am intolerant to stuff that i can't control. death is certain but the time is beyond my call, the doctors not even the mediums in the temples. but its the will of God to bring the family, the individual through the suffering... who am i to say anything i always feel... plus i always free that a good death is one that not necessary prolong death but to reduce the suffering. i fear my emotions may overtake me and lead me astray if i walk into the grey... hmm... so where am i heading?

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

In sa Allah

am i happy? i can't answer for sure but at least i am getting by. once i can't understand why would and how could someone cry every morning when she reaches her office building now i do. the stress, anxiety and fear of facing the day and lots more. it doesn't matter if one if a believer or not, it's really hard to be all Godly and great in the face "danger". the 1 month of attachment does nothing to smoothen the transition but perhaps it did i can't say for sure too. hmm... so what is it that i am sure of?! 1 thing for sure is that i am still learning and sometime learning it the hard way. i miss the gentle reminders and the learning by observation and copying the seniors in my old ward. i miss those seniors that had all left for other postings and the fun way they interact with each other at work. still life goes on and i am still coping. with the help of God i shall too smile at the footsteps that i had left behind.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

missing u...

i am missing u... i want to eat beef steak from hog breath!!! hm... =(