a few months ago, i blog abt wanting to do my advance dip but was rejected because i had not been in the force for 2 yrs. thus not meeting the requirement (according to my manager). for that i was very piss and upset. i complaint that i am old and does not have much time to waste around, blah blah blah...
just yesterday, my acting NC told me that i am allow for the application afterall! i can apply for the advance dip and Ms Tan (our boss's boss) mentioned that i could along with the normal diploma girls. cuz the girls passed out 2-3months before me, so i am seen as 'less experience' as them. when i heard that i felt a little unhappy all over again. initially when i heard it, i said "yes, i am interested" but on 2nd thots, i rejected the offer.
my hubby thot i am crazy to reject it. since the bond is only 1 yr compared to the previous 2 yrs; plus i am now eligible for application. but my thot was different. no.1- i had already apply for my deg and no.2- if i apply for med-surg/ ICU, sure won't be able to get it. but if i take geron (old folk studies) i may stand a better chance. but i don't want to do that subject! my 20-30 yrs plan does not involve nursing home nor nursing dementia pt. in fact, i am not very good with senile pts. i find it sad (for the pt) and humiliating (from a pt point of view) to be treat like a baby or being restrained. but such treatment are necessary to keep them safe.
so my plan will remain as it had been til God tell me otherwise. =) keep me safe in ur prayers as i pray for u my friend.... take care!
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Kmovie- Changing Partners(2007)
just watched a Korean movie, by accident. interesting to bump into it by accident. was actually watching some taiwanese variety show and then saw this korean movie's trailer. since it features the actress from "get karl" and the actor from "sweet 18" i decided to watch it. and i did.
Changing Partners Trailer
the story talks abt how 2 couples got into a fling and they eventually went into adultary with each other's spouses. although only 1 pair had the actual intercourse, while the other pair didn't. the other pair to me was just as gulity. they are gotten so emotionally involved with each other that to me was almost like they were dating. of cuz the other pair which was involved both emotionally and physically had be boiling mad at some point. but the characters were all goody-goody sort so... it was hard for me to hate anyone of them.
i pity the woman who refused to step pass the line to get involve physically with the other guy cuz she was mindful of her marriage and she rejected the temptation by saying she can't live without her hubby only to find out next that her hubby had cheated on her. and damn it! not only did her hubby later confessed to her and broke her heart, she took him back and even propose they should have a baby?! although nobody (technically so) knew of the 4's relationship, as in who was cheating on who... the truth reveal itself later at the end.
the scene where the 2 women fell into the river had me panicked for a while. yes, both the men jumped into the water but what if... 2 men decided to save the same woman?! but thanksfully none of that happened. so the outcome was that all 4 of them went their separent ways (left their spouse) but didn't get together. much later... they met again at a funneral of a common friend's dad's. their feeling were pretty much the same so they went on to pursude the 'forbidden' love only that now its all legal and right...
it led me to think of a few things. its true that a married couple normally won't get to feel all excited seeing each other as much as their dating time. but does that means love is gone? does getting use to each other means that there is no more passion in the marriage? just because someone comes along and offer excitment and newness to the monotone life does that means she/he is the one that you should be with?!
i seriously think its all crap to think that the new person is THE one. cuz maybe after 5 to 7 yrs with THE (new) one, another new person may pop in and will that be the end of the 2nd relationship and the start of the 3rd?! its all a misconception!!! in our search of happiness, i think many had lost the real meaning of happiness and joy. thus with all those martial problems. of cuz there are real issues but if we shift thru them how many are due to such wrong thinking (aka self thots)? *sigh*
from the movies that i had watched so far, korean seems to be very open abt such issue of affairs and adultary. is it a reflection of an open society or something more than that? hmm...
Changing Partners Trailer
the story talks abt how 2 couples got into a fling and they eventually went into adultary with each other's spouses. although only 1 pair had the actual intercourse, while the other pair didn't. the other pair to me was just as gulity. they are gotten so emotionally involved with each other that to me was almost like they were dating. of cuz the other pair which was involved both emotionally and physically had be boiling mad at some point. but the characters were all goody-goody sort so... it was hard for me to hate anyone of them.
i pity the woman who refused to step pass the line to get involve physically with the other guy cuz she was mindful of her marriage and she rejected the temptation by saying she can't live without her hubby only to find out next that her hubby had cheated on her. and damn it! not only did her hubby later confessed to her and broke her heart, she took him back and even propose they should have a baby?! although nobody (technically so) knew of the 4's relationship, as in who was cheating on who... the truth reveal itself later at the end.
the scene where the 2 women fell into the river had me panicked for a while. yes, both the men jumped into the water but what if... 2 men decided to save the same woman?! but thanksfully none of that happened. so the outcome was that all 4 of them went their separent ways (left their spouse) but didn't get together. much later... they met again at a funneral of a common friend's dad's. their feeling were pretty much the same so they went on to pursude the 'forbidden' love only that now its all legal and right...
it led me to think of a few things. its true that a married couple normally won't get to feel all excited seeing each other as much as their dating time. but does that means love is gone? does getting use to each other means that there is no more passion in the marriage? just because someone comes along and offer excitment and newness to the monotone life does that means she/he is the one that you should be with?!
i seriously think its all crap to think that the new person is THE one. cuz maybe after 5 to 7 yrs with THE (new) one, another new person may pop in and will that be the end of the 2nd relationship and the start of the 3rd?! its all a misconception!!! in our search of happiness, i think many had lost the real meaning of happiness and joy. thus with all those martial problems. of cuz there are real issues but if we shift thru them how many are due to such wrong thinking (aka self thots)? *sigh*
from the movies that i had watched so far, korean seems to be very open abt such issue of affairs and adultary. is it a reflection of an open society or something more than that? hmm...
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Angry
recently the ward had been thru a terrible time! there are so many death and near death cases in a short span of 1-2 months! and there was even a fall, although no animal and human hurt. still RMS and all those shit involved sucked my energy out!
because of all these happening i was really angry with God! i was angry cuz 1 pt which came in well suddenly collapsed! why?!!??? she was so well all the while! no active bleeding anywhere but she suddenly just flatten out! lucky she pull thru and was intubated to icu, recently she came back to us. she looks good but still not very well. then we had a few death cases. i was sad cuz that pt just got in the morning and left in the night. being the 'heng' one i was in the pm shift where she was still alive, restless and restrained.
between wed and thur, i discharged a good amount of pt although i stayed back to audit the casenotes til 12mn, i didn't managed to clear all. was too tired to stay so decided i shall do the rest the next day. but the next day new discharges piled up! but the shift was rather peaceful. as i was passing over shift, an old lady fell. the person directly involved was not me but i was the i/c. i needed to enter RMS. my 1st RMS and i was not even the one that caused it! and it was friday! my plan of attending the in-service talk crashed and then the RMS took up so much of my time that i had my 1st meal of the day only at 5 to 6pm! poor shan tot i was angry with her but i was more worried for her. wonder how her probation review will be! what a black mark on her career! after that dinner, i needed to relax a little then started auditing those piled up casenotes. then.... realised that some TCUs were not obtained and with 1... the Dr order after pt left! *faint* win lor... at 7pm i knew my chance of going back for cell group is almost zero liao.... i was so upset i wanted to cry! my head were getting light...
i was so angry with God. why didn't He protect the pt and shan? why let that RMS happen? why did the ward has so many happening! why do i have to clear this and that? why i was so dumb to miss the TCUs? i was so angry that i felt the surrounding spinning. but i tried to keep cool... did i manage? i don't remember but only knew i was very drained. came home, the cell had just prayed for me that my work would be completed and everything will be settled. i joined in the prayer but left to sleep straight after.
came sat. was on AM so woke up early and took a cab to work even though i was damn early. call for Mac to delievery to work even before i stepped into the ward. i wanted to treat myself to a good 'start' for the day. but i guess i was still very angry with God plus i was still very tired (or maybe cuz there were 2-3 new cases that came at 5.3o am that i needed to f/u on?) i felt like crying!! plus got an earful from the consultant for filing in the wrong doc into the wrong casefile. got a blood that came in at 7am but Z don't want to check. he wants to complete his round 1st! i kena 1 time the pro-long waiting time liao... now want to kena again?!?! but luckily Tan hk came at 8 something 9am and checked the blood and i managed to run it well within the 'shelf-life' of the blood. *phew* again there are d/c to audit. so i stayed back to do it. i don't like others helping me with that cuz i scare something not done proper, i will kena. so.. even when others offered, i said no. *sigh*
the minutes turned to hours and i was debating if i should go for service (sat). i was angry with God and i tot "maybe not going to service will show Him how upset i am with Him" but then again i missed God. i missed being in His pressence and that strong anionting felt being in the service. cut the long story short... i went to service. i was so tired that i kept my eyes closed to rest but my ears opened to ingest what the pastor had to offer. the message somewhat spoke to my current situation and i stepped out to the altar call with hundreds of the rest. it was a good time of ministry and receiving in faith. i believe things are going to turn for the better. the ward will be a better place, my life will be more fruitful and joyous. am i still angry with God? i don't know. cuz i don't feel so strongly anymore. but i know i am not contended with where i am now and i know God knows what i mean. by faith i claim for the unfulfilled promises and i will no leave it to chances. with awll my heart and mind and soul, i no longer want to go to where God is cuz that means i am still a distant away from where He stands. i want to be with Him in His work and holding His hand in all that i am involve in.
because of all these happening i was really angry with God! i was angry cuz 1 pt which came in well suddenly collapsed! why?!!??? she was so well all the while! no active bleeding anywhere but she suddenly just flatten out! lucky she pull thru and was intubated to icu, recently she came back to us. she looks good but still not very well. then we had a few death cases. i was sad cuz that pt just got in the morning and left in the night. being the 'heng' one i was in the pm shift where she was still alive, restless and restrained.
between wed and thur, i discharged a good amount of pt although i stayed back to audit the casenotes til 12mn, i didn't managed to clear all. was too tired to stay so decided i shall do the rest the next day. but the next day new discharges piled up! but the shift was rather peaceful. as i was passing over shift, an old lady fell. the person directly involved was not me but i was the i/c. i needed to enter RMS. my 1st RMS and i was not even the one that caused it! and it was friday! my plan of attending the in-service talk crashed and then the RMS took up so much of my time that i had my 1st meal of the day only at 5 to 6pm! poor shan tot i was angry with her but i was more worried for her. wonder how her probation review will be! what a black mark on her career! after that dinner, i needed to relax a little then started auditing those piled up casenotes. then.... realised that some TCUs were not obtained and with 1... the Dr order after pt left! *faint* win lor... at 7pm i knew my chance of going back for cell group is almost zero liao.... i was so upset i wanted to cry! my head were getting light...
i was so angry with God. why didn't He protect the pt and shan? why let that RMS happen? why did the ward has so many happening! why do i have to clear this and that? why i was so dumb to miss the TCUs? i was so angry that i felt the surrounding spinning. but i tried to keep cool... did i manage? i don't remember but only knew i was very drained. came home, the cell had just prayed for me that my work would be completed and everything will be settled. i joined in the prayer but left to sleep straight after.
came sat. was on AM so woke up early and took a cab to work even though i was damn early. call for Mac to delievery to work even before i stepped into the ward. i wanted to treat myself to a good 'start' for the day. but i guess i was still very angry with God plus i was still very tired (or maybe cuz there were 2-3 new cases that came at 5.3o am that i needed to f/u on?) i felt like crying!! plus got an earful from the consultant for filing in the wrong doc into the wrong casefile. got a blood that came in at 7am but Z don't want to check. he wants to complete his round 1st! i kena 1 time the pro-long waiting time liao... now want to kena again?!?! but luckily Tan hk came at 8 something 9am and checked the blood and i managed to run it well within the 'shelf-life' of the blood. *phew* again there are d/c to audit. so i stayed back to do it. i don't like others helping me with that cuz i scare something not done proper, i will kena. so.. even when others offered, i said no. *sigh*
the minutes turned to hours and i was debating if i should go for service (sat). i was angry with God and i tot "maybe not going to service will show Him how upset i am with Him" but then again i missed God. i missed being in His pressence and that strong anionting felt being in the service. cut the long story short... i went to service. i was so tired that i kept my eyes closed to rest but my ears opened to ingest what the pastor had to offer. the message somewhat spoke to my current situation and i stepped out to the altar call with hundreds of the rest. it was a good time of ministry and receiving in faith. i believe things are going to turn for the better. the ward will be a better place, my life will be more fruitful and joyous. am i still angry with God? i don't know. cuz i don't feel so strongly anymore. but i know i am not contended with where i am now and i know God knows what i mean. by faith i claim for the unfulfilled promises and i will no leave it to chances. with awll my heart and mind and soul, i no longer want to go to where God is cuz that means i am still a distant away from where He stands. i want to be with Him in His work and holding His hand in all that i am involve in.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
flowers?
went to the market today and saw the beautiful sunflower smiling at me. bought it to work wondering along the way, who should i give my flower to. to be as long as it is within sight and stills pretty i am glad. afterall sunflower are strong and odorless so it can 'tahan' long time while not giving any problem to those with allergy to pollen/ flower's smell.
was debating btw 26/6 (a fellow believer) and 28/10 (she reminds of my mummy) but decided no to give anyone of them. =P cuz other pts/ relatives may talk. so i placed it at my room's nurses counter. not sure if JCI allows that but it certainly brought a little color to the nurse's counter and hopefully bring a smile to everyone hovering in that area.
drifting over topic... i am so upset with those crazy DRs! they love to hog the casesheets and imr. then later ask us, is that or this done?! funny!! they had denied us chance of peeping into their orders and then later ask us weird questions like this?! CRAZY! if not leh... they will come very 10 to 15 minutes to either add in new changes or orders in the casenotes and imr. how to get medicines and label the right test?! tell me lah....
this new group of Drs are so fickle-minded. or should i say no sure of what they want. no steady lar... that is why everytime i am on shift i show 1 hugh mega black long face! oh shit! i think i had picked up the passive-aggressive stance somewhere. that explains why that MO seems a little not too willing to talk to me and when he does he is always very polite. haha... ya... i realised my bad habit of throwing things down and make a din when i am upset (or is it stress?). better keep myself in check if not i will be the 2nd "i am so tired" missy after SmTa.
so... in ending... prayfully mr sunflower will help boast the morale of the room up and all the pts will be happy and recover soon enough to pack their bags and go home sooon... Amen!
was debating btw 26/6 (a fellow believer) and 28/10 (she reminds of my mummy) but decided no to give anyone of them. =P cuz other pts/ relatives may talk. so i placed it at my room's nurses counter. not sure if JCI allows that but it certainly brought a little color to the nurse's counter and hopefully bring a smile to everyone hovering in that area.
drifting over topic... i am so upset with those crazy DRs! they love to hog the casesheets and imr. then later ask us, is that or this done?! funny!! they had denied us chance of peeping into their orders and then later ask us weird questions like this?! CRAZY! if not leh... they will come very 10 to 15 minutes to either add in new changes or orders in the casenotes and imr. how to get medicines and label the right test?! tell me lah....
this new group of Drs are so fickle-minded. or should i say no sure of what they want. no steady lar... that is why everytime i am on shift i show 1 hugh mega black long face! oh shit! i think i had picked up the passive-aggressive stance somewhere. that explains why that MO seems a little not too willing to talk to me and when he does he is always very polite. haha... ya... i realised my bad habit of throwing things down and make a din when i am upset (or is it stress?). better keep myself in check if not i will be the 2nd "i am so tired" missy after SmTa.
so... in ending... prayfully mr sunflower will help boast the morale of the room up and all the pts will be happy and recover soon enough to pack their bags and go home sooon... Amen!
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
COMPLAINT QUEEN - ME
recently i had posted an entry on my vox.blog talking abt the crap that i had to clear post taking over shift. stuff not done properly, casenotes not filed in place and etc, etc. just when i tot life is going to be normal again... i got to clear crap AGAIN today!
being in rm27 for a few days and back to rm28 as jr for a day or so, i went on 2 days off. new pt came and old pt left. even for the old pts, there are new developments that i have no idea of. and... so i am back after 2 days off and facing me were... *sigh....* INCOMPLETE WORK!
someone in the previous day's PM shift had not obtain enough meds for today's AM shift. this person had also skipped changes that were ordered and this cause an uproar from my dear "jiejie". making me jumping from the start of the shift! i had yet to complete my medication serving (IVs) then got to label and desp urgent bloods. very very angry lor! cuz i have no idea what had happened but i was asked why i don't know and why it was not done! then then then... another team came to asked me if something was faxed already or not. there were no records from the previous shift and worst still the form was gone!! what can i say, apart from "ya, ok. i will check"
although the shift ended peacefully, to me it was a shitty day. cuz it just didn't started off well for me. i had 2 students, 1 jr and 1 ssn with me in my room! with so many people i ought to be able to function better but... i think i am a little too used to being busy! hahaha... so when i realised that otheres are helping me with my changes and stuff, i was off the balance! haha... stupid me!
i think i am more used to doing things on my own. in that way i will know my pt's development better. but i am still rather thankful for the help. =)
the 2 PRCP girls in my room are quite good. at least that is my 1st impression for the both of them. esp. E, she is good. =) lets see in the long run bah! =)
being in rm27 for a few days and back to rm28 as jr for a day or so, i went on 2 days off. new pt came and old pt left. even for the old pts, there are new developments that i have no idea of. and... so i am back after 2 days off and facing me were... *sigh....* INCOMPLETE WORK!
someone in the previous day's PM shift had not obtain enough meds for today's AM shift. this person had also skipped changes that were ordered and this cause an uproar from my dear "jiejie". making me jumping from the start of the shift! i had yet to complete my medication serving (IVs) then got to label and desp urgent bloods. very very angry lor! cuz i have no idea what had happened but i was asked why i don't know and why it was not done! then then then... another team came to asked me if something was faxed already or not. there were no records from the previous shift and worst still the form was gone!! what can i say, apart from "ya, ok. i will check"
although the shift ended peacefully, to me it was a shitty day. cuz it just didn't started off well for me. i had 2 students, 1 jr and 1 ssn with me in my room! with so many people i ought to be able to function better but... i think i am a little too used to being busy! hahaha... so when i realised that otheres are helping me with my changes and stuff, i was off the balance! haha... stupid me!
i think i am more used to doing things on my own. in that way i will know my pt's development better. but i am still rather thankful for the help. =)
the 2 PRCP girls in my room are quite good. at least that is my 1st impression for the both of them. esp. E, she is good. =) lets see in the long run bah! =)
Monday, November 12, 2007
crazy keyboard
my keyboard is dying! some keys are retarded and dying! no matter how hard i slammed on the letters it just wont come on. darn...
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