testing

i think utube is jammed with videos today.

2008

2008 sounds like a movie title. after all there were the "300" and the "2046", why not 2008? haha...

what will it be like, if ur 2008 is filled with interesting characters and hot steamy hotel scenes? haha... or what if ur 2008 is filled with gore and blood? will that make u filled with more enthusiasm for the yr of 2008? maybe...maybe...

otherwise, i bet lots of us will be thinking... 2008 will be yet another yr of increasing pollution, more talks of inflation and rise in oil prices, etc. the monkeys in bt timah will continue to thrive, tigers in china will still face the risk of extinction and there will still be pple jumping onto the mrt tracks. whatelse can be new?! a heaven shaking, earth splitting discovery in the cure for AIDS or cancer?! or having an actor/ actress taking up political post in the government?..ops... that already happened isn't it? Pres.Regan and Governer Schwarzenegger are great examples. hmm... the earth is round, so everything is possible, yes?

what do u intend to do for 2008?
->shed that love-handles? (aiyo... they had been with u for so long, can u truly bear to throw them out of the window just like that? =P)
->adopt a 3rd world country kid and contribute to his/her study fund by mailing US$5 every month to ensure his/her well being? (wow! that's noble! hopefully that will indeed make the world a better place to be in)
->sign up as a grassroot leader in ur community to give back to the society? (he..loo... r u sure, its really not to gain a better chance for ur kid to get into that 'dream' primary school?)

ops... it seems like i have plenty to say for all those possibilities. such a wet blanket, right? before u think of wringing my neck for being such an idiot, have mercy! lets all take a deep breath, close our eyes and think of those brightly coloured pretty flowers of the spring. imagine that crispy smell of newly mowed lawn and the smell of rain. giggling sound of those toddlers in the park and the taste of juicy tangerines bursting in ur mouth! not to mention the soft, smooth, rosy, perky cheeks of a newborn. hmm.... aren't these simple tiny details the reason why life is worth the living? =)

so to all my dear friends and blog-hoppers... HAVE A GREAT 2008!! may u give thanks to every moment of ur breath.

@ random

after a period of intensed days of watching "que sera sera" online, it had finally hit the stores in Sg! yipeee.... right now, the casts of "que sera sera" are looking at me while i type this post. haha.. yes...yes... i bought the set even though i had watch the show already. =P

watching the show makes me wonder... in real life will there be really someone who is willing to just break up a relationship (even if it is still in the honeymoon period) to be with someone richer? hm... and for someone to marry lady A while still being in love with lady B would it make the man unfaithful from the start? haha... typical Kdrama storyline. *shake head*

thank u

although i don't get a lot of comments online. i know a handful of u do visit my blog on irregular base. hahaha... at least u do come back every now and then that's quite enough and satisfying for me. (see...didn't i tell u i am easily contended?)

encounters
its an encouragement for me to receive a comment from someone telling me that she finds my blog easy-reading. haha... although she pointed out that i tend to blog LONG LONG entry which bores her. haha... yah, i realised that too. but what to do? i am talkative mah. when i asked her didn't she find my blog filled with mistakes, she said it was fine. haha... if 'cher thinks its ok, i think i didn't do too badly lah. =P

a friend came up to be and encouraged me recently regarding my "complaints" on my workplace. she re-ensured me that its normal for people to vent their emotions and its actually good in certain ways. =) but i think my problem with the work is not just complaints alone. i think i am suffering from stress and burnt out. i am still thinking if i ought to blog abt these factors. i had yet to overcome these issues so maybe when i am better, i would. =_=

then there are the vast majority that are plain concern abt this friend of theirs. =) its almost like magic how my friends whom i had not met for months and months seems to be so updated with my life! when we meet after a long time, we will just chat abt events as if we had been chatting on the phone just yesterday! haha.. weird but wonderful feelings. if only those friends keep a blog too. =[

a stranger came across my blog and since she was stepping into a path similar to mine, she read thru my blog entries. oh... she did a career switch too, from (i unknown what) to be a nurse. and she commented via a mail that she felt that i am losing the passion and interest in nursing in my recent entries vs my past entries. had i? i don't think i had lost any of those but .... well... i think she will eventually understand that nursing is not a bed of roses and its not as perfect as we had wanted and dreamt it to be. if JK and KK are reading these, they will smirk and say "see...our ever optimist est is finally jaded liao!" haha... my answer is... i still love my job and i still think its a noble work! haha... pt needs us, and we provide beyond clinical care but emotional support and ward base entertainment too! hahaha... =P

so my dear friends/readers... if u would like to comment feel free to do so. =)

am i ill?

its a wonderful feeling being on leave. sleeping late and waking up equally late. with little to thinking abt. how great can life be? ask i typed this question i realised life CAN be greater than sleeping and lazing in the house. where had all my energy been?!

recently i kept having giddiness spells and wanting to vomit. but rest ensured... i am NOT preg. so u don't need to start saving up for baby gifts! LOL. i suspect i have anaemia. when i flip my eyes lids downwards, the skin is white! and if my assessment is right, my Hb count must be really low. hmm... feels like a 6 to 7. apart from the feeling of giddiness, wanting to vomit and feeling weaker than usual, i am fine. thus i am not seeing a doctor yet. maybe wait til i pass out in the house or start having short of breath then i will admit myself in to the hospital and get blood transfusion?!

conclusion... i think i am not as healthy as i think i am =(

rumbles

thought of writting something but nothing flows in and through my brain. so... since there isn't anything to say, i shall do the standard hallmark stuff... Merry Xmas and Happy New Year pple

audit a casenote a day drive

with the impending recertification for the organisation, we are reminded to make sure our work are right 1st time and all the time. documentation must be in place, policies must be followed with zero errors. to police all these, a new project was launched.everyone that does in-charge work must audit 1 case per shift.

while i welcome the move with great expectation (that everyone will indeed do their work right-so that the rest don't have to help clear shit) there are still pple missing out stuff. eg. with the insertation of new plug, ngt, idc - dates that were supposed to be entered into the NCR were missing! date of ref for OT, PT, MSW, other disciplines b/l and etc are still BLANK too! if someone care enough to write in the date of ref, the other someone will happily ignore the date seen portion. then how?? while auditing the case, to prevent wasting time tracing and waiting for the whoever to do it, we waste our own time tracking down the dates and entering it in ourselves.

today i am guest appearing in another room again. this room had a really messy and overcrowded old notes cupboard. so since i am on PM shift and its the duty of the PM shift person to help clear the old notes cupboard, i did. after clearing... the cupboard was at least 1/2 emptied and finally neat. what was the previous PM girls doing?! i don't blame the guest appearance staff for not doing it cuz its not their room to take ownship of. but what abt the room's existing team members? being a guest appearance staff often makes me shake my head. *sigh*

but if the same happens in my own room... and my team leader thinks its alright (she will grumble and says its not our job lar, why we need to do this and why the policy need these and that lar...blah blah blah). i will not just shake my head... i will hit my chest sia!!! just where are all the standards nowadays!? SHAPE UP UR ACT PPLE!

i may not be always right but if the right practises are kept only in the intranet and never practise or reinforce...wat's the use of it in the 1st place?

while the different shift uphold the spirit of communication- passing the important orders and care for each of our patients, should not the general managment of the ward too? communicate to those pple wat are the basic requirement of each individual of their role in the workplace. i may sound so structured and going by the book but... it seems pple just like to take advantage of "relational helping".

my theory...
如果我帮您是人情
如果我不帮您是应该

yes... i think i am very unfriendly in my thots today.

"pay it forward"?!

someone pissed me off today at work with her 没大没小 attitude. she is on my HITTING list! i think i am evil. part of me wants "this" me to stop plotting how to grill her... yet "this" me is just so damn piss...over what? i can't remember now. just know that i am still very pissed!

i realise i may have some problem understanding other enthic group. but its not all of those in that enthic group! it must be the upbringing of these kids nowadays. feel like whacking them on the head and teaching them basic principles eg-respect, humble and teachability.

joy

joy is not the absence of suffering but the pressence of God. =)

the beatitudes
...
blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted
blessed are those who are gentle and lowly, for the whole world will belong to them
blessed are those awho are hungry and thirsty for justics, for they will receive it in full
blessed are those who are merciful, for they will be shown mercy
blessed are those whose hearts are pure, for they will see God
blessed are those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God
blessed are those who are perscuted because they live for God, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs
Matt 5:4-10

说谎 - liar

liar liar pants on fire! JK, Eric, Bee and Juv... all of u r terrible people! say want to meet up but never arrange, wait arrange liao then all can't make it!

so long never meet liao also never miss each other one! must be having fun at ur own ward leh... idiots... when r we meeting?! *sulk* i hope it won't be the time when Juv's baby give birth to a baby wor...

why blog?

why do we blog? i wonder what are the different motives and driving forces behind everyone's blogging stride.

mine is simple. i enjoy thinking and all those thinking got to be downloaded somewhere! if i keep them all in i might go crazy! thus to "save" myself aging brain cells i blog. once out of the system, i am at rest and peace with all around me. woman vent their emotions (saddness or angry) by talking while man withdraw (or sleep) away from the problem. our problem solving are a little different. but i gladly combine the 2! i withdraw from the problem and blog (talk) about it. the only different is... i don't bother anyone to listen as i speak. i find this method less time consuming! i don't end up wasting anyone's time bearing with my complaints.

while blog i think, i think about how i ought to construct my statements and what words to use to best describe my emotion and that situation. these thinking comsume my energy and by the end of a blog entry the energy that was channeled to make my blood boils and temper flared would had died down. cuz i had spent too much energy thinking of other stuff. thus thus... blogging not only provided me a channel of ventation, it is also a great way to release the daily tension of life. =)

after a session with the TM club today i got to know of a blogsite call "iamkia.com" wow... the blog was so full of "how to" instructions. i bet this person secretly wish to be a teacher of sort! hahaha... sorry if i had been too caustic. but its quite a good site to dig in for presentation topics! =P he had literally spell out the entire speech in the blog! heehee... if he permit maybe u can ever "use" his prepared speeches?! but that is between u and him! =)

have fun blogging! i know i do! =) cheers...

not in good terms?

someone (if fact it was 3 someones) asked me if i was in bad terms with Karen. i wonder why they asked that and i asked them "why?". the person just replied that she thinks that i get along well with almost everyone but i seems to be really indifferent towards Karen. no smile and all.

hmm... that got me thinking. am i in bad terms with her? why? and when did that happens? i have a slight idea of that but the fact was i am not in bad terms with her nor do i dislike her. heheee... i think my stand is... she is my collegue and that is about all. i don't quite believe in being ultra super close with all of my collegues. quite unlike "1 mountain" who is almost lovable and at the same time loving everyone.

i am not in bad terms with Karen but i am rather plain in my expression with her. i don't particularly like her tone of speech and she dislike my joker ways. 1 action breeds another action. so with me not smiling, she respond with straight direct speeches directed towards me. maybe she had been going around saying stuff about me but i really don't think i had been really that bad. i might had featured her a couple of times here in my blog but to speak about her in the ward... nah... the nursing world is too small to bitch about another person. one never knows who are listening. but still if someone from the ward stumble on this blog and read this entry, decided to spread the "love" around. i have nothing to say. posting it online has its riskes and i gladly accepted it.

but if that person would love to take it out of context and spread rumors like wildfire, my consious is clear. i am just saying how i feel. emotions are subjective. the judgement is up to you.

PEACE

everyday is a happy day!

i think our rm28 is finally more settled. no more problematic cases, although those cases are still around they are no longer a headache anymore! yippeee... the current problems are more of a medical and illness related issue, so its fair... afterall its a hospital for crying out loud!

today i had 3 discharges and out of which there was a suppose to be B2 patient; she became C class due to lack of available bed in B2 setting. her family requested for a B2 immediately when she arrived from A&E but i told them that there were none available but we will follow up on it and transfer her up when its available. family noted. the patient was very well, ADL independent but was CRIB and NBM cuz she had a fall and a skull fracture. poor old lady can't eat nor drink, have fever also can't take panadol. but once she started drinking and took her pandol, she was well! THE MAGIC PILL...PANADOL! hahaha...

so why did i mention the B and C class thing? i realise that people still have the idea that if they are in C class they will be treated less of a human and the serving in the C class setting will be slow, not up to standard and patients are always dirty and unattended to. WRONG THINKING! a couple of those re-admitted patients which had no beds in B class came to our C class ward and commented how our service was so much better. we spent more time with them, provided more patient education and the patient felt more cared for in our ward! =)

so if our ward gave such great service why aren't we highlighted, praised and appreciated more often?! cuz... B class patients and their relatives are more educated. on discharge these people attend to comment more on the feedback form, write letter or cards and even buy cakes and fruits! i had been attached to B class wards before, i know. while C class patients are less "showy" in that sense but their heart-felt gratitude is real and sincere, its so dense that one can sense it without having to ask. =)

i felt patients in B class setting have a very professional relationship with their caregivers... i am patient (customer) and u r missy (service provider) so if u did a good job, i will reward u (of cuz there are those that expect u to service well regardless of ... cuz they had paid that sort of money liao lor) patients in C class may initially comes in with the idea that nurses in C class are terrible and if they don't listen to the nurses they will be left to shit in their pants til the next morning's mass shower! (mass shower = everyone standing in 1 line and kena sprayed water on!) but after staying here and realised that it was not the case, they will joke and talk with the nurses (but often its the nurses that go and KPO the patient 1st! hahaha) thus our patients tends to leave the ward with the idea that she (patient) had made a few good friends (nurses) during this period of boring and blood sucking days of her life.

the suppose to be B class patient on discharge gave us chocolate, fruits and a card. i am pleasently surprise and exteremly glad. i felt that everyone in rm28 deserved a pat on the back...after all those nasty events of phlebitis, pt fall, family complaints and stuff.

although i am happy for the outward token of appreciation, will i opt to leave the C class setting for a B class setting in lure of these "thanksgiving"? i think maybe not, i like to be sincerely treating people not having to bear with silly demand of patients who think they had paid enough to demand nurses to be their personalised maid! i like being a C class nurse. i like serving sweet old grannies that are beautiful and graceful with tons of life-stories to tell. i love being called "xiao-mei" or being told how my fair smooth skin was just like theirs once upon a time. =) yes... i am proud to be a C class missy. =)

but of cuz... it never harm to have a few more supposed to be B class patients around once in a while to make us feel good and appreciated in tangible terms. =P

ps- it felt like a sunday these few days... cuz drs' order had been a breeze and pts are all so cheery and nice! =) *Happy*

me toilet bowl? hehee...

my previous entry rambles abt how i was clearing shit and that the next morning will be a great big unknown to me.

slept at abt 2am, woke up at 5am. reach ward at 10 minutes to 6am. completed all my medication IV and oral by 7.30am. i came earlier cuz i wan't to space out enough time to follow the round of those "problematic" cases and to receive scolding while still have ample time to do my changes, take bloods and write reports. but... 人算不如天算!

God was so graceful and merciful to me! thank You, Jesus! the Drs didn't scream at me regarding the late despatch for bed 3. they did ask but that was all. everyone was in a good mood. the consulatant for bed 11 was on post call and she didn't even notice abt the pre-HD bloods thing. thus she didn't demand anything. thank God! bed 11 will be going to HD on tuesday so we will do it again then. the great thing is that she had remain aferbile for the past few days so c/s isn't that top priority now. the dengue specimen for bed 7 which was extra didn't get its due attention too. cuz the patient is already +ve for that with the result from the 1st specimen.

on top of it, my jr was great! i think i had worked them to death! i pity V and my baby. but i also got help lor. i brought 2 patients for showers, sponged 1 and toke bloods and get plugs. =) but my poor jr did their charts, 4 dressings (thank God, all are simple ones) and 5 sponging! on top of that V also helped me with the h/c. she is really nice and i felt bad being so 'lazy'. apart from the bld c/s cuz pt kept having high temp (which could be due to a faulty themometer) there aren't too much orders. =) i am pleasently surprise cuz our consultant today is known for being very detail and loves ordering LOTS of changes!!

today is a good day overall speaking. 1 d/c that was easy and straight-forward, good pts and a peaceful room. but for my neighbour room... it was another story! a loud and VERY VERY angry man- shouting over some trivial matter... i pity my dear Alvin. but that i will save for another entry! =)

clearing shit ...again

yes, as my post had it... i had taken over shit from the previous shift yet again. i can almost envision myself being F@cK and screamed at by a few big shots tomorrow AM! *sigh* what else can i say?! its too common for such shit to happen lor...

Ag NC M was so amazed that i was so "cool" but i suppose that's because she had not had too much interaction with this infamous lady, that's why. Ag NC M was away for her adv. dip that was why lah... eventually it will come a time when nothing will surprise her anymore. =P

although the infamous lady M tried to make me feel better by telling me that she will be most willingly to be trashed by me tomorrow when i pass over to her, i replied in my most straight and black face "but the intensity will never be the same". true right? i should had replied "no lar, don't worry" if i wanted to let her feel better. but why should i? honestly, it seems rather evil of me to be that but why must i sugar-coat a mistake for someone who always get others and herself into trouble? why can't she learn? yah, it true that the mistaken had been made and that the event is over. there isn't anything left for us to do but to wait to see what will be of our 'fate' tomorrow. still... i have lots to learn and improve for my patience!

i came home and prayed for protection for mainly the shit that will be dished out tomorrow. but God is forever so willingly to love and comfort (despite of... He is really amazing sia...)!

Psalm 4:8 "I will lie down in peace and sleep, for You alone, O Lord will keep me safe" i think i will not think too much of it and sleep. whatever comes from the Drs i will gladly take it. will i trash infamous lady M? i might but maybe God will protect me so much that i can pass over happy like a doe?! i certainly wish i can! =)

getting over it...

1 pt whom i love dearly had discharged. i am glad for her yet i didn't managed to say byebye to her. i don't wish to see her in the ward again so i think i won't get the chance to say byebye to her ever again. =(

her condition was a common thing and to see her stay for awhile is just as normal. but the MRSA and the Virus shit makes me angry, if not those these and that she would had been long discharged. then... came the earth shaking news. there was a mass somewhere in her organ. not sure if those were as affected but i was. i was very! so affected that i don't know how to face her, what to say to her. i was so sad. because i was sad and unsure of how to face the new diagnosis and her, i missed the chance to sit and speak to her before she was discharged. ='(

i wish her well and will always keep her in my prayers. at least thru this i learnt 1 simply lesson- not to waste time. we can keep feeling sad and angry for whatever happenings but while doing so we are in fact precious time in doing such worthless things. we should look beyond our feelings at times and do what would be better- spending more time and caring for each other more.

He will make us whole

a patient passed away suddenly last night. she was chatty, very lovable and cute person. despite being all old and chairfast, she was well groom, often sweet smelling and the condition of her skin....wow... smooth and fair! life had been well with her, i bet she had been good person, gentle in spirit too. =)

i remembered her cuz she had an easy to remember name and she is one of those very nice lady. err... pretty too. hehehee.. i have a soft spot for warm ladies which reminds me of my own mummy and for pretty, lovely ladies that had aged gracefully. =) pt_Lu belonged the later. =)

pt_Lu was still breathing and talking 2 hours ago before her "byebye". asking my friend to off her fan but 2 hours later, while the girls were changing her...she was unresponsive. she was still warm but she wasn't replying to the girls. =( since i wasn't caring for her room, what i got to know was from my friends. poor student missy... her 1st "packing" started this way, heard she was badly shaken.

we were called in to help and i went. she was an active resus case. we did cpr, pump in oxygen and meds in attempt to bring her back. but it was too late. she was gone. she looked peaceful and i felt peace while pumping her. i knew she is with God, she was a believer. =)

after the event, i went back to my room. while washing my face, i had an image going thru my eyes. pt_Lu was outside a medical checkup room and while being checked, the "dr' said that she had xxxxxx problems and after that, she was healed. i "saw" her walking and smiling. i am sure she is whole again, just like we all know... there will be no sadness nor illness in Heaven! =) i glad she is well now and that she will be happy.

after night shift, i left for church. *excited* yippee!!! its communion weekend! that means there is grape-juice and wafers! hahaha... i love freebies so i am always thrilled by communion weekends! hahaha.... and most of all its a time to be grateful for His work on the cross and also a reminder for me that with Him all things are possible! while partaking the communion, i was reminded of pt_Lu, how she would be missing her communion. then God reminded me... pt_Lu won't need that symbol of Christ's body and blood that he had shed for us... pt_Lu will be dinning with Christ and God and all the saints herself, in person!!! now... isn't that more awesome than these plastic cups and crispy wafers?! heehee... =) i bet that would be damn cool...

this is 1 sudden death case that left me with the feeling of peace and serenity. =) PEACE BABY!

i am a "mummy"

have u heard abt it? i am a mummy...... to a student nurse (PRCP). she is a fair skin, slim and sweet young thing of 1.6-1.63m tall. wears specs, long black hair (no idea how long though) that is always neatly tied up in a bun. a malaysian-SG PR. she is a very cautious, shy and soft-spoken girl. a typical girl-next-door sort.

i was not her "birth mummy" it was aini but since their schedule was not very matching, this student was handed over to my care. hahaha... so i am her "adopted mummy" haha....

although she is not a very strong and fast learner, i think she is a keen learner with very positive outlook. she is very helpful too. =) she had been with us for barely a month yet i must had worked her to death! i wonder how she is taking it. =_=?! but of cuz, she never once grumble. she better stay that way! cuz i will be really offended if any them do! i will scream... @ them "u guys are here to learn one leh! give u learning opportunities still want to grumble?! we can complete our work faster and maybe better without having to keep u pple at the back of our mind, sia!"

still... it must be stressful for any student to do their PRCP lar... while trying their best to perform well, they have to get use to the environment, people, pts and all those orders vs forms vs tubes sort of shit. i was a student once and i knew it. my style of working- i like to process thoughts and work things out on my own before asking for help so i expect the same of my student girl- independent and confident. so i had been piling her with information and notes. *sigh* sometime i pity her too. but if we really take things easy and slow... we will never get to the mark in time!

my plan for her is for her to suffer thru intensive training for the first 6 weeks and then she ought to be able to function on her. but on second thot she has her own life to lead apart from nursing alone mah. am i expecting her to forgo her leisure time in reading up on meds and remembering FBC=purple (EDTA) tube, ECG + CE is every 8hrly?! *dilema*