rubbish on my mind

1-i feel sick. i think i am getting a gastric flu. tummy rumbling. =(

2-new uniform is white and i already got black ink stain on my day 1! i look damn pale in white. 1 person commented i look fairer now in white! she joked that i should change my name to xiaobai. huh?! but xiaobai is crayon shin (xiaoshin)'s doggy! *faint*

3-my AgNC M will make a good top management! yes, i always think that way of her. she is good at talking and after a long chat with her, one will always come out knowing we had chatted for a long time but lack the grasp of what had just happened. haha.. =P isn't that wat most top management does with their lower ranks? beat around the bush while making others feel like they are trying to tackle the problem. haha...

anyway, i have no idea why she wanted to talk to me. she asked me a question but i lack the answering ability cuz i really have no strong feelings towards the issue anymore. so most of the time she was the one talking. but that's fine. cuz i love to listen to others talk. giving myself a good time to rest aka spaceout. =P

4-going to 'school' in a few more hours time. thrill...nervous...doubtful...excited... =)

5-while others are sobbing cuz their mummy is dying. i am not affected but had dealt with it as if it is afterall a case only. telling them its a about time and BP is dropping with a straight face. back at the counter i can smile, joke with other patients. hmm.. how heartless had i become!

yet, its true...life does go on for the living. dying is perhaps a better escape route out of this malfunctioning machine. memories are cherished and good to remember but holding on to a person base on that? is plain heartless and childish, i think. mummy is so very sick but because i love mummy i want everything done to save her. even if she is a veg. i want her alive?! hmm...suddenly i remember a story of a little girl whose daddy bought a fake pearl necklace on her 4th birthday. she had much fun with it and adores the necklace. but 1 day she accidentally broke it, all the pearls came loose and the necklace is now unable to be worn. little girl cried day and night. so 1 day after a week, daddy came to little girl and ask her to handle over her old pearl necklace but little girl refused. daddy even took out a new necklace to replace the old one but little girl still refused! cuz to her old pearl necklace was too dear to her. her microscopic view had made her missed the opportunity for something better. so my dear friends... is it active or max ward management for u, if u r faced with the same dilema?