its sad... when u live in denial

advance science had not allow us to cure cancer! i like that statement, its frank, its blunt but its true. we can avoid it, reduce it and maybe try to remove it hoping it won't come back again. but what the nature had dished to us, we got to accept it at some point or other.

ethical problem- cancer pt is at her last stage of her disease, she is going to die this way or that. will you encourage chemotherapy again? aiming to reduce the size of the growth and to slow it down. pt however will be suffering the side-effect of it and with her reduced immunity infection may set in during the cause of chemo. when that happens, the infection may be so bad that it may even cost her to depart earlier. the patient is unable to decide for herself as she is sub-normal and she leaves decision making to her family.

as a person that had seen the pain in the eyes of that pt, my tot was why reduced her pain but prolong her suffering? yet her family was keen in every measure to preserve her life. not that i want her to die but where is the quality of life if the only sole target is to lengthen her stay on earth? the family is clearly in denial. they think she will overcome it but the drs had told them its stage 4- cancer cells are moving everywhere!

now that she is gone. the family is lodging a complaint on this and that. days after she had departed the family is still in denial, thinking/ blaming others for the death. why did you do this or that when she was like that....etc. etc. yet the order was for basic comfort care which meant to say to make her comfort in her last days, hours and minutes. we aren't going to aggressive bring her back to life if she was gone. the basic comfort care order was made after a family conference and family agreed on that. yet i wonder if they truly understand what that meant cuz it seems they wanted more.

i am totally dishearten by the family that 1 moment was shaking our hands and thanking us for the care we gave to the pt and yet on the other moment writting in to complaint. i wonder what does the decease think abt it. cuz i believe nobody can understand and feel more than the pt, herself. had we done enough? did we delay the respond? could anything be better?

emotion wells up within me as i type this. i am glad she is gone, gone to be at peace with her maker. if the complaint comes through and i got to be call back to answer for the many questions thrown onto the table, i will gladly take my stand and be grounded on my answers and believes. i had done all that i could, i treated her with utmost respect, i had came to love her more than a pt and my love was pure. she was almost like a dear sister to me, if i was to nurse my own sister i won't do any more or less than that.

life is short and dying is real. we are all dying, its a process that had started the moment we were born only hasten by means or accidents and illness.