went playing on a palm reading site and then scroll on to tarot card stuff. er.... felt so dark... (spiritually). well... won't give u the site cuz its not good to go to the dark side... heehe... we are no star war, baby... =P
but a little harmless fun may not do much damage, i think. (otherwise start saying your sinner pray immediately after reading this post!)
Wat is ur fav fruit?
Apple Banana Black Grapes Cherry
Coconut Custard Apple Mango Orange
Papaya Peach Pear Pineapple
Apple
If apple is your favourite fruit, you are an extravagant, impulsive and outspoken person; often with a bit of a temper. While you may not be the best organiser yourself, you make a good team leader; and are good at taking things forward. You can take quick action in most situations. You enjoy travel immensely. You ooze with charm when you are with your partner. You have an enthusiasm for life, unmatched by most.
Banana
You are a softie! Loving, gentle, warm and sympathetic by nature is the banana lover. You often lack in self-confidence and are quite timid by nature. People often take advantage of your sweet temperedness, and sheer vulnerability to a situation. You adore your partner in every which way, both for their mental and physical beauty! Because of the way you are, your relationship is always, very much in harmony!
Black Grapes
You are a polite person in general, but do have quick flare-ups of temper that cool down just as quickly. You enjoy beauty in all forms, including beautiful people. You are very popular because of your warm, gregarious nature. You have a zest for life; you enjoy every thing you do, right from the way you dress, to your style and élan in your day-to-day life. Your partner must share your zeal and zing for life… to enjoy all you have to offer!
Cherry
If cherry is your favourite fruit, life isn't always as sweet for you. You often face ups and downs, particularly professionally; and find that you make small sums of money, instead of a lump sum. You have a fertile imagination and are often involved in creative pursuits. You are a very sincere and loyal partner; but find that expressing your feelings is not very easy. Your home is your haven, and you love nothing more than being surrounded by close family and your beloved partner.
Coconut
The coconut lover is a serious, very thoughtful and contemplative person. Though you enjoy socialising, you are particular about the company you keep. You tend to be stubborn but not necessarily foolhardy. Shrewd, quick-witted and alert, you ensure that you are right on top of any given scenario, especially at work. You need a partner with brains, and while passion is important it certainly isn't everything for you.
Custard Apple
You are a modest and conservative person; who can be quite sensitive at times. You tend to be thoughtful and contemplative, and therefore are rarely rash in doing things. You are quite ambitious; and are good at anything that requires much detailing or working with numbers. You are quick at finding fault with others. While looking for a partner, you value a person's intellect far above their looks or good old passion. You are quite shy and not very comfortable demonstrating affection.
Mango
A mango lover is a personality to be reckoned with; quite often you are a person who has quite fixed ideas, and influencing you is no easy task. You tend to be an extremist with strong likes and dislikes; and at times even like to control a situation. You enjoy getting involved in something that presents mental challenge. Strong as you may be, you are like a kitten when you are with your partner. You accommodate the love of your life, and make up for all the strong will elsewhere!
Orange
If orange is your favourite fruit; it speaks of a person who has enduring patience and willpower. You like to do things slowly; but very thoroughly and are completely undaunted by hard work. You tend to be shy; but are a reliable and trustworthy friend. You have an aesthetic bent of mind. You select your partner with care and thought; you love with all your heart, and are not in for just a fling. You avoid conflict at all costs.
Papaya
You are truly fearless and take much that happens in life, in your stride. You give considerable thought to things you do. You have a sense of humour that along with your generous nature keeps you in most people's good books. You are a go-getter in your professional life, and have a knack for being in the right place at the right time. You enjoy meeting new people and seeing new sights whenever you can. Your sense of humour is what attracts members of the opposite sex to you more than anything else. It is simply charming!
Peach
Like a peach, you enjoy the juice of life… it all its lush ripeness! You are the friendly sort, and are quite frank and outspoken, which adds to your charm. You are quick to forgive and forget; and value your friendships highly. You have an independent and ambitious streak in you, that makes you a real go-getter. You are the ideal lover, fiery and passionate but sincere and faithful in love. You don't however like to display all that passion in public.
Pear
If you put your mind to something you can do it successfully, but by and large you tend to be fickle and have trouble completing a task with the enthusiasm you started it with. You need to know the results of your efforts almost immediately. You enjoy mental stimulation; and love to get into a good discussion. You tend to be a restless and high-strung person, and are easily excitable. While you are quick to strike up a friendship with someone, maintaining it does not seem to be easy for you.
Pineapple
You are quick to decide and even quicker to act. You are brave in making career changes; if that is what is to your advantage. You have exceptional organising abilities and are undaunted by the size of the task at hand. You tend to be self reliant, sincere and honest in your dealings with others. Though you are not given to making friends very quickly, but once you do, it is for life. You rarely, if ever, make romantic overtures. Your partner is often impressed with your sterling qualities but disappointed in your ability to show affection.
now....wats urs?
Thursday, October 30, 2008
accolade...ME o_O??
o_O?? orhh.... i got an accolade pin on a board, for public viewing. err...but wats an accolade leh? haha... i just checked the dictionary online it said...
4 dictionary results for: accolade
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) - Cite This Source - Share This
ac⋅co⋅lade /ˈækəˌleɪd, -ˌlɑd; ˌækəˈleɪd, -ˈlɑd/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [ak-uh-leyd, -lahd; ak-uh-leyd, -lahd] Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun
1.any award, honor, or laudatory notice: The play received accolades from the press.
2.a light touch on the shoulder with the flat side of the sword or formerly by an embrace, done in the ceremony of conferring knighthood.
3.the ceremony itself.
4.Music. a brace joining several staves.
5.Architecture.
a. an archivolt or hood molding having more or less the form of an ogee arch.
b. a decoration having more or less the form of an ogee arch, cut into a lintel or flat arch.
Origin: 1615–25; <>-ade 1 ), n. use of fem. ptp. of a(c)coler, OF v. deriv. of col neck (see collar ) with a- a- 5
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.
wow.... making it sound like i am a knight or something. haha... someone commented that another co-worker along with me had nursed her mom in her final journey making it a relatively painless and comfortable one. wow... let me see... i hardly pack cases so i really can't figure out who was the person was, plus the other person mentioned was in a totally different team with me. she was the front room girl and me the back room so... how would it be that we had nursed the same patient!??! i am puzzled.
the other more puzzling thing is... why didn't the bosses tell us that? normally the bosses will photocopy such things and then track back who was the patient, then... they will tell us that so and so had wrote such and such about us. the last letter i got from a patient relative was not with this co-worker but another one so.... o_O?? who...who....who??? tomorrow i must make it a point to bug my boss about that.
mental note: this entry is too cheer-y, dampen it i would... hahaha..
i am really glad that patients and their relatives see the effort we put in to make them comfortable in a rather strange and threatening environment. (imagine always being woken up in the middle of your sleep to get your blood pressure taken and kena blood taking every so often). it can be really frustrating to be nursing people who treat nurses like dirt and worst still MAID... =(
we are a nation filled with expectation. we expect the bus and mrt to be on time. we expect our kids to do well in school (if not it must be the teacher's fault for taking mc all the time!). we expect our government to filter out everything and anything bad. and because of all these expectation, sometimes its really terrible to work in our setting. 13 patients (not amounting to their relatives and friends) facing 1 or 2 nurses, they request we (try) to meet their expectation in time but when we aren't quite up to their expectation they will get upset and stuff. turn the table around... its 1 or 2 nurses dealing with 13 individuals! is that an easy task? sigh... because of my personality plus the 'training' at the workplace i realised grace is very important. treat others with grace, even if its really tough to...try!!!!
i salute my da-jie for being a teacher! 30+ underage kids screaming in a classroom + handing their parents - all filled with high expectation for everyone of their precious baby... wow.... how stress can it be! thank God i am not a teacher... if not, no amount of teacher's day bribe ops... i meant gifts will make me cheerful and glad. =)
bottomline....treat NURSES well!! and....WORLD PEACE! hahaha.... =P
4 dictionary results for: accolade
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) - Cite This Source - Share This
ac⋅co⋅lade /ˈækəˌleɪd, -ˌlɑd; ˌækəˈleɪd, -ˈlɑd/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [ak-uh-leyd, -lahd; ak-uh-leyd, -lahd] Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun
1.any award, honor, or laudatory notice: The play received accolades from the press.
2.a light touch on the shoulder with the flat side of the sword or formerly by an embrace, done in the ceremony of conferring knighthood.
3.the ceremony itself.
4.Music. a brace joining several staves.
5.Architecture.
a. an archivolt or hood molding having more or less the form of an ogee arch.
b. a decoration having more or less the form of an ogee arch, cut into a lintel or flat arch.
Origin: 1615–25; <>-ade 1 ), n. use of fem. ptp. of a(c)coler, OF v. deriv. of col neck (see collar ) with a- a- 5
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.
wow.... making it sound like i am a knight or something. haha... someone commented that another co-worker along with me had nursed her mom in her final journey making it a relatively painless and comfortable one. wow... let me see... i hardly pack cases so i really can't figure out who was the person was, plus the other person mentioned was in a totally different team with me. she was the front room girl and me the back room so... how would it be that we had nursed the same patient!??! i am puzzled.
the other more puzzling thing is... why didn't the bosses tell us that? normally the bosses will photocopy such things and then track back who was the patient, then... they will tell us that so and so had wrote such and such about us. the last letter i got from a patient relative was not with this co-worker but another one so.... o_O?? who...who....who??? tomorrow i must make it a point to bug my boss about that.
mental note: this entry is too cheer-y, dampen it i would... hahaha..
i am really glad that patients and their relatives see the effort we put in to make them comfortable in a rather strange and threatening environment. (imagine always being woken up in the middle of your sleep to get your blood pressure taken and kena blood taking every so often). it can be really frustrating to be nursing people who treat nurses like dirt and worst still MAID... =(
we are a nation filled with expectation. we expect the bus and mrt to be on time. we expect our kids to do well in school (if not it must be the teacher's fault for taking mc all the time!). we expect our government to filter out everything and anything bad. and because of all these expectation, sometimes its really terrible to work in our setting. 13 patients (not amounting to their relatives and friends) facing 1 or 2 nurses, they request we (try) to meet their expectation in time but when we aren't quite up to their expectation they will get upset and stuff. turn the table around... its 1 or 2 nurses dealing with 13 individuals! is that an easy task? sigh... because of my personality plus the 'training' at the workplace i realised grace is very important. treat others with grace, even if its really tough to...try!!!!
i salute my da-jie for being a teacher! 30+ underage kids screaming in a classroom + handing their parents - all filled with high expectation for everyone of their precious baby... wow.... how stress can it be! thank God i am not a teacher... if not, no amount of teacher's day bribe ops... i meant gifts will make me cheerful and glad. =)
bottomline....treat NURSES well!! and....WORLD PEACE! hahaha.... =P
chinese diam sum
egg tart- crispy pastry with soft silky egg-y filling. i like soft buttery pastry sometimes. but what is most important to me is the filling. =) it must be aromatic with a subtle hint of sweetness to it, not too strong and not too bland. yes... in some ways i am picky.
rice roll w shrimp- best eaten fresh. i love it when it is just made! one can always taste the different btw a freshly made vs a made for awhile now but placed in the steamer to keep it warm sort. really, the texture is totally different.
chicken feet aka phoniex claws- chinese love to 'decorate' their dishes with pretty cravings and masked the real food ingredients with some make-believe food names. haha... this dish is full of collegen, good for the skin. =) not my favorite diam sum but i kind of like the texture sometime.
soya bean milk meal
long time no eat... long time ago we used to go for b'fast after our night as a grp. slowly it just stopped. good in that we stopped spending too much money- taking cab and eat lots before sleeping, good in that we gotten more time to sleep and reached home early. bad in the sense we spend less time together. perhaps other girls are still bonding via other means, good for them. =)
the soya bean place brought back fond memories. there was a time when i was crazy over this soya bean thing. but not now anymore. popped in for a bite the other day since i was in that area. it was abt 4pm and ladies were already out earning their cash (hardworking sia...). i felt weird being looked at by man (gosh! how low can the standard there be if those crazy people think i am the working girl!!) after the snack i got into a cab and the uncle actually asked "where to, pretty girl" I WAS LIKE HUH?! but i think my facial expression + my not so friendly voice put him back in place. haha... he kept his mouth shut the entire journey.
the typical soya bean milk (sweeten) and the toasted bun stuffed with pork floss and egg. 
see... got pork floss leh... did they got the idea from 'breadtalk'? anyway... AVA said SG's eggs are NOT from China so its safe to eat. =)
Sunday, October 26, 2008
new store at home
went to a new place new our place to eat...
it's boss is the same as the 'ma lan rama' remember that rama frezy years ago!?
this dish called 'pan fried bun' is good. almost like xiaolong bun the meat inside is so juicy. =9~~ while the outside (rather its the bottom) is crispy and aromatic. =)
a double shot on the buns. thot i can do a steady shot but i can't. =( and was so hoping to capture the steam coming out from the bun + the juice leaking out from the meat. but i guess mobile phone's camera isn't design to get that sort of photos. (like as if i am pro enough with a pro-cam. hehee)
it's boss is the same as the 'ma lan rama' remember that rama frezy years ago!?this dish called 'pan fried bun' is good. almost like xiaolong bun the meat inside is so juicy. =9~~ while the outside (rather its the bottom) is crispy and aromatic. =)
a double shot on the buns. thot i can do a steady shot but i can't. =( and was so hoping to capture the steam coming out from the bun + the juice leaking out from the meat. but i guess mobile phone's camera isn't design to get that sort of photos. (like as if i am pro enough with a pro-cam. hehee)the
Friday, October 24, 2008
ice ice ice
there are so many flavours to choose from!!! from green tea to peanuts to mango and even fruity milky sort! oh ya there's also mocca. yes... they are from the famous dessert store in chinatown. =)
look!! the ice is shave til paper-thin. it simply melts in my mouth. the texture was smooth like silk! oh my... its so smooth, sweet and chilled! oh...
yummy.... shave ice (its called snow ice) with a good generous amouth of toping with it. =)
my favourite is the orginal (fruity) then followed by the mango then peanuts (surprising leh?) my least favorite is the mocca, i find it bitter, as for the green tea, err.. its already so cold plus the refreshing taste of green tea make it taste a little not my cup of soup..ops i meant to said ice. =)
look!! the ice is shave til paper-thin. it simply melts in my mouth. the texture was smooth like silk! oh my... its so smooth, sweet and chilled! oh...
yummy.... shave ice (its called snow ice) with a good generous amouth of toping with it. =)
my favourite is the orginal (fruity) then followed by the mango then peanuts (surprising leh?) my least favorite is the mocca, i find it bitter, as for the green tea, err.. its already so cold plus the refreshing taste of green tea make it taste a little not my cup of soup..ops i meant to said ice. =)
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
nothing better to ramble on
why my room doesn't have any student assigned to? but its ok lar. afterall my room is relatively less taxing that the other rooms (i think).
why the mr king is so tactless and totally wasting everyone's time?! poke our auntie for so many time for something that is pure brainless reason. tell me to poke aunt4 to determine if we should change the drip or not at 5pm and later 6am we are doing the same test again?! like as if the on-call will be able to review the result! i'm fine if he was going to be on call and reviewing the results but... sigh... the "who-kill-kenny" must be fed-up with arguing with the 'boss' that he just do whatever is ordered lor. why doesn't the BIG BOSS say something about these things? perhaps its too trivial to be bother by it? i feel like angry!
aunt5 is psy and thinks she is being placed a spelled on and that mr king actually called the family and said "so did you place a spell on her?" i don't know if i ought to laugh or faint on the spot. isn't there a more tactful way to talk abt such sensitive issue?! tsk tsk... he had to spend a long...long time talking to the family. of cuz lar! if i kena asked if i did place a spell on anyone, i will scream and try to explain wat! *faint* i thot counselling skill was 1 of the module in medicine?! or maybe... 'man just don't get it?!'
3 more days to off! *sigh*... aini's mom cook very well!! i had fallen in love with her kweh at 1st bite!
why the mr king is so tactless and totally wasting everyone's time?! poke our auntie for so many time for something that is pure brainless reason. tell me to poke aunt4 to determine if we should change the drip or not at 5pm and later 6am we are doing the same test again?! like as if the on-call will be able to review the result! i'm fine if he was going to be on call and reviewing the results but... sigh... the "who-kill-kenny" must be fed-up with arguing with the 'boss' that he just do whatever is ordered lor. why doesn't the BIG BOSS say something about these things? perhaps its too trivial to be bother by it? i feel like angry!
aunt5 is psy and thinks she is being placed a spelled on and that mr king actually called the family and said "so did you place a spell on her?" i don't know if i ought to laugh or faint on the spot. isn't there a more tactful way to talk abt such sensitive issue?! tsk tsk... he had to spend a long...long time talking to the family. of cuz lar! if i kena asked if i did place a spell on anyone, i will scream and try to explain wat! *faint* i thot counselling skill was 1 of the module in medicine?! or maybe... 'man just don't get it?!'
3 more days to off! *sigh*... aini's mom cook very well!! i had fallen in love with her kweh at 1st bite!
Monday, October 20, 2008
byebye
i thought i will be so so so sad and unbearable today when there was a 'farewell roll-call' after work today. but i think i took it relativity well. although it was still hard for me to linger a little longer to say more byes, i didn't felt too bad saying byebye and posing for farewell photos. it felt like just a normal end of shift for me, like as if she will come back to work the day after tomor or sort. hmm... am i in denial? =P
clamped up
case 1
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i no longer see the need to quarrel and scream or kick my feet to show my anger. someone upset me at work recently, he said something that is so hurting. damn it. and i thought we were on good terms but he did something wrong. stupid damn ass. naive and childish. there is a difference between friendly and disrespect and i hate it if someone thinks i am being disrespectful (in comparison there are lots of others that are REALLY disrespectful! get your idea right!). so...young man, you want to play the ranks card? fine... we will just be that.
i was so hurt by his mindless comment and i shot back. "ok, fine... in that case, i will not respect u if you...." at that moment i had totally clamped up to him. idiot! days after that he actually acted all chummy and come ask me how is that and this, my reply "i am the junior today, please ask my in-charge". act all friendly with me? my reply is simple cold and hard. yes, sir. i have clamped up totally. i thought i can help to make you life better by helping you, when the world seems to hate you but that is how you want to put yourself above me in terms of ranks and qualification? fine... you got it. mind you dear sirs and mdm... nurses are the one that deal with your actual clients 24/7, 1 poison dart and you will be nursing you way to the quality dept very soon!!! of cuz... we are not that evil but don't push us too far.... those people lying on the beds may be YOUR clients but may be OUR friends instead...
case 2
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so you are sick? i hate it when someone plays the 'pity' me card at work. no... i do understand if you are sick, you are sick and need help. i am fine and most willing to help. I AM DAMN HELPFUL and always goes all the way to do so. but not if YOU HAVE A TRACK RECORD OF NEVER HELPING YOUR FELLOW CO-WORKER ALL THE TIME...! then... telling me you are having a problem with your.... wat do you want from me then?! am i being too critical or sensitive??? or am i right to assume that with you telling me that, you are expecting me to help way and beyond the lazy norm of yours? I TOTALLY HATE IT WHEN I AM PLACE IN THE SAME ROOM WITH THIS PERSON. maybe as a work-friend, she is fine but not when we are in the same room!
i am too hard to please. i bet nobody likes to be in the same room as me anyway, and nobody likes to be in the same room as her -_-|| so... in all possibility, putting us together will yield better response with the majority?! damn it. tick for tack... she wants to do it this way, then i will just do the necessary... no point value add. arghh.... but its so not me!! cuz i am patient oriented, i want the people under my care to be happy and well...so i can't just leave the call bells ringing and stuff.. argh... i am so so so damn pissed... so upset that i didn't even sleep last night. feel like slapping her and call her names! argh....... in all attempt to control my UNHAPPINESS (ever since the minute i saw my name with hers in the same assignment)
although i know Kat would said to success in this world one have to keep smiling at all time and only then the bosses will know you are capable to handle stress and is a team-player regardless of; honestly i don't really care if i am branded the not co-operative one! com'on... why should i get stomach-ulcer acting all chummy to everyone when i know i am not. i want to be true to myself and my feelings... argh... i need to live in some rual mountain temple or something where i am free to be crazy as i please.
-------
i no longer see the need to quarrel and scream or kick my feet to show my anger. someone upset me at work recently, he said something that is so hurting. damn it. and i thought we were on good terms but he did something wrong. stupid damn ass. naive and childish. there is a difference between friendly and disrespect and i hate it if someone thinks i am being disrespectful (in comparison there are lots of others that are REALLY disrespectful! get your idea right!). so...young man, you want to play the ranks card? fine... we will just be that.
i was so hurt by his mindless comment and i shot back. "ok, fine... in that case, i will not respect u if you...." at that moment i had totally clamped up to him. idiot! days after that he actually acted all chummy and come ask me how is that and this, my reply "i am the junior today, please ask my in-charge". act all friendly with me? my reply is simple cold and hard. yes, sir. i have clamped up totally. i thought i can help to make you life better by helping you, when the world seems to hate you but that is how you want to put yourself above me in terms of ranks and qualification? fine... you got it. mind you dear sirs and mdm... nurses are the one that deal with your actual clients 24/7, 1 poison dart and you will be nursing you way to the quality dept very soon!!! of cuz... we are not that evil but don't push us too far.... those people lying on the beds may be YOUR clients but may be OUR friends instead...
case 2
-------
so you are sick? i hate it when someone plays the 'pity' me card at work. no... i do understand if you are sick, you are sick and need help. i am fine and most willing to help. I AM DAMN HELPFUL and always goes all the way to do so. but not if YOU HAVE A TRACK RECORD OF NEVER HELPING YOUR FELLOW CO-WORKER ALL THE TIME...! then... telling me you are having a problem with your.... wat do you want from me then?! am i being too critical or sensitive??? or am i right to assume that with you telling me that, you are expecting me to help way and beyond the lazy norm of yours? I TOTALLY HATE IT WHEN I AM PLACE IN THE SAME ROOM WITH THIS PERSON. maybe as a work-friend, she is fine but not when we are in the same room!
i am too hard to please. i bet nobody likes to be in the same room as me anyway, and nobody likes to be in the same room as her -_-|| so... in all possibility, putting us together will yield better response with the majority?! damn it. tick for tack... she wants to do it this way, then i will just do the necessary... no point value add. arghh.... but its so not me!! cuz i am patient oriented, i want the people under my care to be happy and well...so i can't just leave the call bells ringing and stuff.. argh... i am so so so damn pissed... so upset that i didn't even sleep last night. feel like slapping her and call her names! argh....... in all attempt to control my UNHAPPINESS (ever since the minute i saw my name with hers in the same assignment)
although i know Kat would said to success in this world one have to keep smiling at all time and only then the bosses will know you are capable to handle stress and is a team-player regardless of; honestly i don't really care if i am branded the not co-operative one! com'on... why should i get stomach-ulcer acting all chummy to everyone when i know i am not. i want to be true to myself and my feelings... argh... i need to live in some rual mountain temple or something where i am free to be crazy as i please.
welcome to the mystic 30s.
my ideal age is 25 and 28. i had always admired people of these ages. young, full of energy and at the peak of their life. but 30s? hmm... i felt age is catching up on me. it doesn't help that i am consistently mingling with the young girls and in total disapproval with some of their behavior and thinking.
i still a very 'traditional' person. in fact i am very rooted in my chinese roots. i believe girls ought to behave this way and that way. people should have basic manners and be polite at all times to all people, of cuz if that person is not worth being so nice to...just don't even cross path if them! (if possible). but this idealogy of my is crashing down just like the encomony in some sense. only difference? the govt is not coming in to help at all! with the kids running amok with their ill-manners and total disrespects to human per-say, mr govt is focus on the other stuff like educational level and stuff. if the core of a human is not well-foundation upon, the national will breed brats and such people are sure to end up killing one and other with no sense of purpose and destiny. right.. that's just my frustration on stuff.
back to my 30s topic. my idea of being 30+ is people toil for money, lost the purpose of life and is slave to their loans and children. how sad 30s seems to me. the next admirable age is 45. female tends to be more enpowered at that age, establish and confidence. enough life experience to know what to expect and to handle them well. able to say NO, no longer winning approval but can be daring with their decision in life. at this point, if the woman is no where near the 'idea' that i had, then they had fell short of the graceful and the classy female cat. perhaps into the lovable, auntie sort. hmm... wat do i want to be? of cuz the earlier mentioned, its always been my 'dream' to grow old graceful and classy. even if i am rotting alone in my living room, i must be the most classy rotting grump ever. haha...
damn that aging process.
i still a very 'traditional' person. in fact i am very rooted in my chinese roots. i believe girls ought to behave this way and that way. people should have basic manners and be polite at all times to all people, of cuz if that person is not worth being so nice to...just don't even cross path if them! (if possible). but this idealogy of my is crashing down just like the encomony in some sense. only difference? the govt is not coming in to help at all! with the kids running amok with their ill-manners and total disrespects to human per-say, mr govt is focus on the other stuff like educational level and stuff. if the core of a human is not well-foundation upon, the national will breed brats and such people are sure to end up killing one and other with no sense of purpose and destiny. right.. that's just my frustration on stuff.
back to my 30s topic. my idea of being 30+ is people toil for money, lost the purpose of life and is slave to their loans and children. how sad 30s seems to me. the next admirable age is 45. female tends to be more enpowered at that age, establish and confidence. enough life experience to know what to expect and to handle them well. able to say NO, no longer winning approval but can be daring with their decision in life. at this point, if the woman is no where near the 'idea' that i had, then they had fell short of the graceful and the classy female cat. perhaps into the lovable, auntie sort. hmm... wat do i want to be? of cuz the earlier mentioned, its always been my 'dream' to grow old graceful and classy. even if i am rotting alone in my living room, i must be the most classy rotting grump ever. haha...
damn that aging process.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Sunday, October 12, 2008
bad day (assignment due on mon..shit man!)
do you have such great issue with yourself that it must reflect in your behaviour outwardly? how badly do you think of yourself to think that others would want to treat you like a dog? if you think others actually treat you like that, perhaps the problem is that you are thinking you ARE a dog?! what rubbish is that!?
so much about being nagged at regarding infection prevention. handwashing and rubbing are basic but often overlooked but capping stuff?? well... its a habit people have so no comment liao. nobody is prefect but some are enough to kill others' joy of living. ya..right... girl.. live life the way you intend it to be... selfish and stubborn... ya... live it the way you plan it to be...live it well. *sigh*
so much about being nagged at regarding infection prevention. handwashing and rubbing are basic but often overlooked but capping stuff?? well... its a habit people have so no comment liao. nobody is prefect but some are enough to kill others' joy of living. ya..right... girl.. live life the way you intend it to be... selfish and stubborn... ya... live it the way you plan it to be...live it well. *sigh*
Saturday, October 11, 2008
weird and hyper
so tired... my eyes were semi-shut this morning. i slept at 3+ rushing my assignment (cycle will repeat itself til assignment submission) then... woke up @6am, physically totally unwilling to get up but mentally up and alert! went off to work and bought my starbuck only to smash it into pieces and my precious drink ended up staining the floor of sgh! argh... i rather it stain my stomach lining!! i was listening to the walkman so i don't know how loud did i 'uttered' my curses at that point of time! haha... lucky i bought sweets! so i overdose myself with mentos! and sweet sugar drives my mind crazy! i was joking with my patients and it was totally weird to see them laugh! not smile leh... laugh! i wanted to faint!!! if i could jump out of my body and watch myself work this morning, i will literally faint + puke + fits. that is how disgusting i felt about myself but the patients seemed to enjoyed a big fat clown around. *faint faint faint*
my 'down-time' came at 10 til 12. as expected (by me) i was getting agitated and super tired! i felt like just hiding under the table and shut my eyes for awhile but no... i can't! and i had to insert a super difficult plug! i spent 45mins in there with the patient. i wanted to cry liao... my eyes burnt by tiredness and feeling vexed out from all that bumps and blood. argh... lucky patients never do anything else to make me feel like 'killing' them. =P my jr not bad keen to help although not perfect (given her being new, very impressive liao). i 'slaved' her so much i felt embarrassed. =P thanks to the night jrs, our morning work was lighter.
when i saw cyn. came on shift, i was so happy!!! (much may explained why i was all so dramatic!) finally... i can see the tiny light at the end of the shift! haha... managed to complete my work (everything!) by 2.30pm and finally... had my coffee at 3pm! i think i MUST STOP drink coffee!! i used to get bad bad bad reaction drinking it but now... i am addicted! damn expensive too. #(@#$&(#@
napped til 9pm and now starting to do my assignment. if only we can read a subject and not have to be tested. *sigh*....
my 'down-time' came at 10 til 12. as expected (by me) i was getting agitated and super tired! i felt like just hiding under the table and shut my eyes for awhile but no... i can't! and i had to insert a super difficult plug! i spent 45mins in there with the patient. i wanted to cry liao... my eyes burnt by tiredness and feeling vexed out from all that bumps and blood. argh... lucky patients never do anything else to make me feel like 'killing' them. =P my jr not bad keen to help although not perfect (given her being new, very impressive liao). i 'slaved' her so much i felt embarrassed. =P thanks to the night jrs, our morning work was lighter.
when i saw cyn. came on shift, i was so happy!!! (much may explained why i was all so dramatic!) finally... i can see the tiny light at the end of the shift! haha... managed to complete my work (everything!) by 2.30pm and finally... had my coffee at 3pm! i think i MUST STOP drink coffee!! i used to get bad bad bad reaction drinking it but now... i am addicted! damn expensive too. #(@#$&(#@
napped til 9pm and now starting to do my assignment. if only we can read a subject and not have to be tested. *sigh*....
Monday, October 6, 2008
wow...
the world is so big! there are so many things out there for me to explore but i am growing older each day. am i too greedy to want to know them all?
Sunday, October 5, 2008
making a new malaysian passport
its not so scary anymore. i remembering having to wake up early and queuing for a form for hours in some terrible dirty and old building in the past. after getting the form, my parents will pull us along to same makeshift stall to get our forms filled, picture taken and document photocopy. then we will stand in another queue again to get a no. to submit our document before heading to the canteen downstair to munch on some b'fast- all said and done before 10am. hsk hsk... can you imagine how early we got to wake up to travel from singapore to malaysia all for that?
as we grew older, things improved and system upgraded. now its so quick and easy! i am impress with the progress the govt had taken. or maybe in the past my parents were not well informed enough to do things the fast and right way? i don't know but with the much appreciated improvement, i won't be complaint much.
the stuff (scary) i read online seems a little unfavourable and not doing any justification to the improvement made. =( i think our Malaysia High Com. in Jervios Rd (SG) had improved greatly! the building is prettier although the initial design is still there and the air con is much welcomed! =) a little lacking in information and direction, i feel, but what the heck?! malaysians are famous for their kampong spirit wat! all we need, was to ask our fellow friendly country-man / woman and they will help by either directing or advising. how cool is that? and even better... the staff are now mostly able to speak simply english! haha... although their faces can still reflect the "i am not so happy to be working" looks. but... how to be happy if u got to work during ur new yr season!? =P
i should had called the hotline earlier that could have saved me 1 trip there. =( so for future references the tel no. is - 67328067 and the website is http://www.imi.gov.my/eng/im_Page1.asp we can get detail information via the hotline and print forms from the website! if not, the form for the passport is S$0.50! ok... if u aren't a cheap-skate, that's fine...cuz i am not. =P and the form actually isn't that tough to fill up on ur own either! =) i did mine (with some great help from my normal marketplace malayu and internet free translating services)!! but i got to admit, getting a malay to fill it up will surely be faster, my advise...print the form and ask ur malay friend to fill it for you then... go to the actual place, buy the form and copy word for word. neat right?
i'm going to archive this entry as important govt stuff so i can ref it again as and when. =)
as we grew older, things improved and system upgraded. now its so quick and easy! i am impress with the progress the govt had taken. or maybe in the past my parents were not well informed enough to do things the fast and right way? i don't know but with the much appreciated improvement, i won't be complaint much.
the stuff (scary) i read online seems a little unfavourable and not doing any justification to the improvement made. =( i think our Malaysia High Com. in Jervios Rd (SG) had improved greatly! the building is prettier although the initial design is still there and the air con is much welcomed! =) a little lacking in information and direction, i feel, but what the heck?! malaysians are famous for their kampong spirit wat! all we need, was to ask our fellow friendly country-man / woman and they will help by either directing or advising. how cool is that? and even better... the staff are now mostly able to speak simply english! haha... although their faces can still reflect the "i am not so happy to be working" looks. but... how to be happy if u got to work during ur new yr season!? =P
i should had called the hotline earlier that could have saved me 1 trip there. =( so for future references the tel no. is - 67328067 and the website is http://www.imi.gov.my/eng/im_Page1.asp we can get detail information via the hotline and print forms from the website! if not, the form for the passport is S$0.50! ok... if u aren't a cheap-skate, that's fine...cuz i am not. =P and the form actually isn't that tough to fill up on ur own either! =) i did mine (with some great help from my normal marketplace malayu and internet free translating services)!! but i got to admit, getting a malay to fill it up will surely be faster, my advise...print the form and ask ur malay friend to fill it for you then... go to the actual place, buy the form and copy word for word. neat right?
i'm going to archive this entry as important govt stuff so i can ref it again as and when. =)
rumbles
sat was a day of ups and downs. my previous post abt praying and getting what you want works for me! its totally amazing!!! considering how long ago was my last time alone with God and service!!! but even with those gaps in my action of love to His Faithfulness, He remains my anchor and my lips never stop declaring His love and truth for me.
in the draft rooster i was allocated a morning that sat but the actual had it changed to pm. i had already made plans and in the end when i checked what was going to be my assignment on sat (on a fri pm) i was shocked to had it shown PM shift (nvr mind i was i/c or jr)! boy! i panick sia... back home i was planning how to shift or move things ard. so in the end was... que sera sera... although i did pray abt it (my pray =/= closing eyes + chanting long time but was just a honest simple request sauced with lots of oh shit, oh no and argh... watever now...hahaha) i think hubby prayed too?! i nvr thot anything will change but it did! @ 5.57am someone called me on my hp and called me back to work! my shift officially changed to AM as it was initially reflected on my personal calendar! haha... i was freaking amazed and thankful. thus i didn't turn out grump and upset for being called back to work. 2 poor girls got tummy-ache over their festive season, must be damn suay for them. HAPPY level = 89%
Quick check on my room- not full housed but relatively fine pt (but mostly attention-seeking) iv-not too terrible much. but it being a sat = no students and also...no floater! its just me and young staff. HAPPY level = (down slightly) 85%
At work...young staff->slow. ok, i can understand, new mah. i help no problem. young staff not particularly service orientated...mm...a little disappointed but managable. young staff no sense of urgency...err...never mind... different pple different style... sigh. at the end of the shift, i realised how helpful i was! so unlike me! i think i must had been too happy to d/c my bed 8 and to had my shift turned AM. but the conclusion was... what sort of teacher = what sort of student. (i panick to think my 'baby' is going to be like me -> grumpy and terrible w pple! haha... and my work isn't that great lor. *faint*) HAPPY level (affected by physical condition) = 70%
stayed back to clear my d/c files but before that... row call til 4pm!! argh... i hate it! just before passing report, a pt's drip site was leaking. tot i told my jr to off plug 1st later i'll set (since its not in her JD) but 2 hrs later the plug is still there but drip clamped. my jr no understand english issit? (actually i think she really no understand english, must talk easy easy n slow slow one to her if not she no catch ball. i sad sad for her) weird family members... seems can only talk to me like tt. i say wait while i clear something. 1 family member said "lan.... lar, wait wait wait" i stop my work, stared her in the eyes. felt like going over there and slap her on her mouth for being so crude and uncivilised! but i didn't, Kat said i did it good! although she did turn red after i stared at her, i felt my anger not vent leh... argh! after 5 mins, i resite the plug (thanks to Sun for taking off the plug in the meanwhile) HAPPY level (whats w the char bo!?) = 55%
called Kat to meet her to deal w the travel stuff... she can't make it. =( the auditing dragged me til 5pm!!! HAPPY level (whats w the char bo!?) = 50%
heard so many people leaving... even a senior whom i often looked up to as someone with strength, knowledge and quality. my heart went crazy a little and some saddness rushed up only to be pushed down by my super logical thinking... 'aiya, eventually everyone will leave nobody and nothing is forever.' HAPPY level (@ this point... wat happy level sia..damn cannot make it liao lar!) = 39%
dinner wasn't that great to turn the table round. in the end slept very early. HAPPY level overall ... low. but would had been lower if not for God's morning intervention. More of such cool act, GOd!
in the draft rooster i was allocated a morning that sat but the actual had it changed to pm. i had already made plans and in the end when i checked what was going to be my assignment on sat (on a fri pm) i was shocked to had it shown PM shift (nvr mind i was i/c or jr)! boy! i panick sia... back home i was planning how to shift or move things ard. so in the end was... que sera sera... although i did pray abt it (my pray =/= closing eyes + chanting long time but was just a honest simple request sauced with lots of oh shit, oh no and argh... watever now...hahaha) i think hubby prayed too?! i nvr thot anything will change but it did! @ 5.57am someone called me on my hp and called me back to work! my shift officially changed to AM as it was initially reflected on my personal calendar! haha... i was freaking amazed and thankful. thus i didn't turn out grump and upset for being called back to work. 2 poor girls got tummy-ache over their festive season, must be damn suay for them. HAPPY level = 89%
Quick check on my room- not full housed but relatively fine pt (but mostly attention-seeking) iv-not too terrible much. but it being a sat = no students and also...no floater! its just me and young staff. HAPPY level = (down slightly) 85%
At work...young staff->slow. ok, i can understand, new mah. i help no problem. young staff not particularly service orientated...mm...a little disappointed but managable. young staff no sense of urgency...err...never mind... different pple different style... sigh. at the end of the shift, i realised how helpful i was! so unlike me! i think i must had been too happy to d/c my bed 8 and to had my shift turned AM. but the conclusion was... what sort of teacher = what sort of student. (i panick to think my 'baby' is going to be like me -> grumpy and terrible w pple! haha... and my work isn't that great lor. *faint*) HAPPY level (affected by physical condition) = 70%
stayed back to clear my d/c files but before that... row call til 4pm!! argh... i hate it! just before passing report, a pt's drip site was leaking. tot i told my jr to off plug 1st later i'll set (since its not in her JD) but 2 hrs later the plug is still there but drip clamped. my jr no understand english issit? (actually i think she really no understand english, must talk easy easy n slow slow one to her if not she no catch ball. i sad sad for her) weird family members... seems can only talk to me like tt. i say wait while i clear something. 1 family member said "lan.... lar, wait wait wait" i stop my work, stared her in the eyes. felt like going over there and slap her on her mouth for being so crude and uncivilised! but i didn't, Kat said i did it good! although she did turn red after i stared at her, i felt my anger not vent leh... argh! after 5 mins, i resite the plug (thanks to Sun for taking off the plug in the meanwhile) HAPPY level (whats w the char bo!?) = 55%
called Kat to meet her to deal w the travel stuff... she can't make it. =( the auditing dragged me til 5pm!!! HAPPY level (whats w the char bo!?) = 50%
heard so many people leaving... even a senior whom i often looked up to as someone with strength, knowledge and quality. my heart went crazy a little and some saddness rushed up only to be pushed down by my super logical thinking... 'aiya, eventually everyone will leave nobody and nothing is forever.' HAPPY level (@ this point... wat happy level sia..damn cannot make it liao lar!) = 39%
dinner wasn't that great to turn the table round. in the end slept very early. HAPPY level overall ... low. but would had been lower if not for God's morning intervention. More of such cool act, GOd!
Friday, October 3, 2008
Dying
there are tons of people out in the world praying, begging and trying to cheat to gain 1 more day to live as a human to breath and enjoy the pollution of the world but at the same time tons of people are doing the same thing praying, begging to die, to some they decided waiting is too slow and painful so they cut themselves, hang themselves or jump down somewhere they think is deadly enough.
Dying might be the end to the trouble they face in the world but in the afterlife? nobody can say for sure that these people who had ended their lives prematurely will indeed R.I.P or will they be ripped apart as mentioned in the folktales of the 18 levels of hell. i do follow the korean entertainment news via some interesting blog sites and those suicidal news makes my blood boils! if they are in so much stress quit lar! not like they have no money to do so. but i guess its beyond that. actresses and actors are emotional lot, for them their feelings might really overpower their brain, i suppose. so when the emotions build up and start eating them up from inside; regardless of commitments or religion they will opt for the easy way out? but... *sigh* of all those that had committed suicidal it seems they are all Christians! aiyo...
No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and [1 Cor 1:9] God is faithful, who will not allow you to be [2 Pet 2:9] tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.
Perhaps suicide is a temptation, an easy way out given by the devil to lure us out of the glorious victory that the Lord had prepared for us after the period of trial. But in this microwave era are we patient enough to wait out the period of trial and pain to reach for the gold in the end of the journey? If the pain is indeed unbearable tell it to God and if it is His will to relieve us of the pain, He will in His plans and ways bring us home to where pain no longer exist, where rumors no long hurts and where friends no long smiles just to hide the knives that they actually carry along to hurt.
[1 Cor 9:25; Phil 1:30; 1 Tim 1:18; 6:12] I have fought the good fight, I have finished [Acts 20:24; 1 Cor 9:24] the course, I have kept [2 Tim 3:10] the faith
True account:
==========
I had a patient once, she was a renal patient. She had the disease in her late 30s. Because of her illness, she no longer could enjoy her food and not only were there restriction on the food she can consume, it restricted the amount of water she can drink. Peeing was an obsessive thing to her. To her being able to pee was achievement! Cuz more renal patient's kidneys will eventually fail totally and the ability to pee will reduce to zero!
From meds she progressed quickly to dialysis. She hang in there for her only daughter. Her husband had passed on. Her daughter employed a maid to care for her mom but she was not able to be there all the time for her mom. Dialysis isn't as simple as creating a graft for dialysis and it will be good forever! 3 times per week, the patient has to travel to the dialysis center. In the progress of dialyses risk of infection and sudden blood pressure crash are always there. Patient will be tired and drained, sitting in a chair for close to 4 hours and having the hand stretch out to allow the exchange to take place. Its boring and saddening.
This patient of my, was a semi-regular patient. Coming in and out although not very often but often enough for us to know her. She was super not compliance to meds and restriction. She will sneak out to the then Kopi-Tiam and eat Kway-Chap (pig organs) on the days before her dialysis as she believe the dialysis will 'wash' everything out. She will drink as she wish and eat as she pleases. While the nurses will nag at her non-stop, threaten to call the Dr and her daughter to report on her misbehave, she will only think of better ways to dodge from our 'radar'.
The last time I seen her admitted was for a blocked AVG. The graft for her dialysis was blocked and it was not unblocked by means of meds. Numerous attempts for new lines to be established failed. It was not only painful to her but frustrating for us too. Every other day we were sending her down for procedures and at the same time she was not listening to us. Wanting everything her way. I remembered telling her that if she wants to be well she must co-operate with us, if not how can she be well and go home? I even spoke to her daughter on the phone and asked her to help talk to her mom. She did but she can't make her mom be good too. In fact her mom just kept pestering her to bring her(pt) home. To the point the daughter don't want to talk to her mom unless she listen to the Drs and the nurses. It worked for awhile only.
During my night shift, I found the patient waking up in the mid of the night coughing. B'cause the cough had kept her from sleeping, she sat up in the bed and started praying. I knew she was a Christian cuz I had seen her church members and friends came praying for her. But when I walked nearer, I heard her prayed "God take me with You. Take me home, God. I am suffering. Why do you want to make me suffer?" and she repeated the prayer non-stop. I walked to her and advise her to get some rest while telling her that God wants you well so she should not pray that way.
I continued to see her for the next few days and everytime when I hear her pray, she will be praying the same old thing - wanting to die. You know how God always grant every earnest worshipper an answer to his/her prayer?
And he said unto them, Which of you shall have a friend, and shall go unto him at midnight, and say unto him, Friend, lend me three loaves; For a friend of mine in his journey is come to me, and I have nothing to set before him? And he from within shall answer and say, Trouble me not: the door is now shut, and my children are with me in bed; I cannot rise and give thee. I say unto you, Though he will not rise and give him, because he is his friend, yet because of his importunity he will rise and give him as many as he needeth.
And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.
If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone? or if he ask a fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent? Or if he shall ask an egg, will he offer him a scorpion? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?
Luke 11:5-13
Well... on the day of my off... she passed away. I can't remembered how she died but she did. So why end it prematurely? If it was indeed so unbearable, pray. He will never give a stone if we ask for bread. He who grant health will grant death too (if its in His will for us).
Blessing to you who may be suffering.
Dying might be the end to the trouble they face in the world but in the afterlife? nobody can say for sure that these people who had ended their lives prematurely will indeed R.I.P or will they be ripped apart as mentioned in the folktales of the 18 levels of hell. i do follow the korean entertainment news via some interesting blog sites and those suicidal news makes my blood boils! if they are in so much stress quit lar! not like they have no money to do so. but i guess its beyond that. actresses and actors are emotional lot, for them their feelings might really overpower their brain, i suppose. so when the emotions build up and start eating them up from inside; regardless of commitments or religion they will opt for the easy way out? but... *sigh* of all those that had committed suicidal it seems they are all Christians! aiyo...
No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and [1 Cor 1:9] God is faithful, who will not allow you to be [2 Pet 2:9] tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.
Perhaps suicide is a temptation, an easy way out given by the devil to lure us out of the glorious victory that the Lord had prepared for us after the period of trial. But in this microwave era are we patient enough to wait out the period of trial and pain to reach for the gold in the end of the journey? If the pain is indeed unbearable tell it to God and if it is His will to relieve us of the pain, He will in His plans and ways bring us home to where pain no longer exist, where rumors no long hurts and where friends no long smiles just to hide the knives that they actually carry along to hurt.
[1 Cor 9:25; Phil 1:30; 1 Tim 1:18; 6:12] I have fought the good fight, I have finished [Acts 20:24; 1 Cor 9:24] the course, I have kept [2 Tim 3:10] the faith
True account:
==========
I had a patient once, she was a renal patient. She had the disease in her late 30s. Because of her illness, she no longer could enjoy her food and not only were there restriction on the food she can consume, it restricted the amount of water she can drink. Peeing was an obsessive thing to her. To her being able to pee was achievement! Cuz more renal patient's kidneys will eventually fail totally and the ability to pee will reduce to zero!
From meds she progressed quickly to dialysis. She hang in there for her only daughter. Her husband had passed on. Her daughter employed a maid to care for her mom but she was not able to be there all the time for her mom. Dialysis isn't as simple as creating a graft for dialysis and it will be good forever! 3 times per week, the patient has to travel to the dialysis center. In the progress of dialyses risk of infection and sudden blood pressure crash are always there. Patient will be tired and drained, sitting in a chair for close to 4 hours and having the hand stretch out to allow the exchange to take place. Its boring and saddening.
This patient of my, was a semi-regular patient. Coming in and out although not very often but often enough for us to know her. She was super not compliance to meds and restriction. She will sneak out to the then Kopi-Tiam and eat Kway-Chap (pig organs) on the days before her dialysis as she believe the dialysis will 'wash' everything out. She will drink as she wish and eat as she pleases. While the nurses will nag at her non-stop, threaten to call the Dr and her daughter to report on her misbehave, she will only think of better ways to dodge from our 'radar'.
The last time I seen her admitted was for a blocked AVG. The graft for her dialysis was blocked and it was not unblocked by means of meds. Numerous attempts for new lines to be established failed. It was not only painful to her but frustrating for us too. Every other day we were sending her down for procedures and at the same time she was not listening to us. Wanting everything her way. I remembered telling her that if she wants to be well she must co-operate with us, if not how can she be well and go home? I even spoke to her daughter on the phone and asked her to help talk to her mom. She did but she can't make her mom be good too. In fact her mom just kept pestering her to bring her(pt) home. To the point the daughter don't want to talk to her mom unless she listen to the Drs and the nurses. It worked for awhile only.
During my night shift, I found the patient waking up in the mid of the night coughing. B'cause the cough had kept her from sleeping, she sat up in the bed and started praying. I knew she was a Christian cuz I had seen her church members and friends came praying for her. But when I walked nearer, I heard her prayed "God take me with You. Take me home, God. I am suffering. Why do you want to make me suffer?" and she repeated the prayer non-stop. I walked to her and advise her to get some rest while telling her that God wants you well so she should not pray that way.
I continued to see her for the next few days and everytime when I hear her pray, she will be praying the same old thing - wanting to die. You know how God always grant every earnest worshipper an answer to his/her prayer?
And he said unto them, Which of you shall have a friend, and shall go unto him at midnight, and say unto him, Friend, lend me three loaves; For a friend of mine in his journey is come to me, and I have nothing to set before him? And he from within shall answer and say, Trouble me not: the door is now shut, and my children are with me in bed; I cannot rise and give thee. I say unto you, Though he will not rise and give him, because he is his friend, yet because of his importunity he will rise and give him as many as he needeth.
And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.
If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone? or if he ask a fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent? Or if he shall ask an egg, will he offer him a scorpion? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?
Luke 11:5-13
Well... on the day of my off... she passed away. I can't remembered how she died but she did. So why end it prematurely? If it was indeed so unbearable, pray. He will never give a stone if we ask for bread. He who grant health will grant death too (if its in His will for us).
Blessing to you who may be suffering.
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