Dying

there are tons of people out in the world praying, begging and trying to cheat to gain 1 more day to live as a human to breath and enjoy the pollution of the world but at the same time tons of people are doing the same thing praying, begging to die, to some they decided waiting is too slow and painful so they cut themselves, hang themselves or jump down somewhere they think is deadly enough.

Dying might be the end to the trouble they face in the world but in the afterlife? nobody can say for sure that these people who had ended their lives prematurely will indeed R.I.P or will they be ripped apart as mentioned in the folktales of the 18 levels of hell. i do follow the korean entertainment news via some interesting blog sites and those suicidal news makes my blood boils! if they are in so much stress quit lar! not like they have no money to do so. but i guess its beyond that. actresses and actors are emotional lot, for them their feelings might really overpower their brain, i suppose. so when the emotions build up and start eating them up from inside; regardless of commitments or religion they will opt for the easy way out? but... *sigh* of all those that had committed suicidal it seems they are all Christians! aiyo...

No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and [1 Cor 1:9] God is faithful, who will not allow you to be [2 Pet 2:9] tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.

Perhaps suicide is a temptation, an easy way out given by the devil to lure us out of the glorious victory that the Lord had prepared for us after the period of trial. But in this microwave era are we patient enough to wait out the period of trial and pain to reach for the gold in the end of the journey? If the pain is indeed unbearable tell it to God and if it is His will to relieve us of the pain, He will in His plans and ways bring us home to where pain no longer exist, where rumors no long hurts and where friends no long smiles just to hide the knives that they actually carry along to hurt.

[1 Cor 9:25; Phil 1:30; 1 Tim 1:18; 6:12] I have fought the good fight, I have finished [Acts 20:24; 1 Cor 9:24] the course, I have kept [2 Tim 3:10] the faith

True account:
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I had a patient once, she was a renal patient. She had the disease in her late 30s. Because of her illness, she no longer could enjoy her food and not only were there restriction on the food she can consume, it restricted the amount of water she can drink. Peeing was an obsessive thing to her. To her being able to pee was achievement! Cuz more renal patient's kidneys will eventually fail totally and the ability to pee will reduce to zero!

From meds she progressed quickly to dialysis. She hang in there for her only daughter. Her husband had passed on. Her daughter employed a maid to care for her mom but she was not able to be there all the time for her mom. Dialysis isn't as simple as creating a graft for dialysis and it will be good forever! 3 times per week, the patient has to travel to the dialysis center. In the progress of dialyses risk of infection and sudden blood pressure crash are always there. Patient will be tired and drained, sitting in a chair for close to 4 hours and having the hand stretch out to allow the exchange to take place. Its boring and saddening.

This patient of my, was a semi-regular patient. Coming in and out although not very often but often enough for us to know her. She was super not compliance to meds and restriction. She will sneak out to the then Kopi-Tiam and eat Kway-Chap (pig organs) on the days before her dialysis as she believe the dialysis will 'wash' everything out. She will drink as she wish and eat as she pleases. While the nurses will nag at her non-stop, threaten to call the Dr and her daughter to report on her misbehave, she will only think of better ways to dodge from our 'radar'.

The last time I seen her admitted was for a blocked AVG. The graft for her dialysis was blocked and it was not unblocked by means of meds. Numerous attempts for new lines to be established failed. It was not only painful to her but frustrating for us too. Every other day we were sending her down for procedures and at the same time she was not listening to us. Wanting everything her way. I remembered telling her that if she wants to be well she must co-operate with us, if not how can she be well and go home? I even spoke to her daughter on the phone and asked her to help talk to her mom. She did but she can't make her mom be good too. In fact her mom just kept pestering her to bring her(pt) home. To the point the daughter don't want to talk to her mom unless she listen to the Drs and the nurses. It worked for awhile only.

During my night shift, I found the patient waking up in the mid of the night coughing. B'cause the cough had kept her from sleeping, she sat up in the bed and started praying. I knew she was a Christian cuz I had seen her church members and friends came praying for her. But when I walked nearer, I heard her prayed "God take me with You. Take me home, God. I am suffering. Why do you want to make me suffer?" and she repeated the prayer non-stop. I walked to her and advise her to get some rest while telling her that God wants you well so she should not pray that way.

I continued to see her for the next few days and everytime when I hear her pray, she will be praying the same old thing - wanting to die. You know how God always grant every earnest worshipper an answer to his/her prayer?

And he said unto them, Which of you shall have a friend, and shall go unto him at midnight, and say unto him, Friend, lend me three loaves; For a friend of mine in his journey is come to me, and I have nothing to set before him? And he from within shall answer and say, Trouble me not: the door is now shut, and my children are with me in bed; I cannot rise and give thee. I say unto you, Though he will not rise and give him, because he is his friend, yet because of his importunity he will rise and give him as many as he needeth.
And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.
If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone? or if he ask a fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent? Or if he shall ask an egg, will he offer him a scorpion? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?
Luke 11:5-13

Well... on the day of my off... she passed away. I can't remembered how she died but she did. So why end it prematurely? If it was indeed so unbearable, pray. He will never give a stone if we ask for bread. He who grant health will grant death too (if its in His will for us).

Blessing to you who may be suffering.