trust - use it only when necessary?

I had been burning mid-night oil all the way to 5am for a few nights now. Not that I enjoy it but I feel it's necessary in order for things to be done well and so that the group can sit down with something solid to discuss rather than plucking from the air and getting no where. I thought if I give in my 110% people will at least contribute 10% worth of effort. BUT I AM WRONG!

Before attachment, we were broken into 2 groups and questions assigned to be completed within a time frame. Due to numerous reasons the time frame got stretched and I assume with extra time people will be more prepared (or at least would had already had a rough idea) but NO.... There are those that are truly hardworking and kind. They thrown in their 110% too. But it takes just 1 to make my day a terrible SHIT!

So the story is as such... before attachment I had prepared a rough stretch of the presentation seeking more input from the rest. 2 weeks later YM replied and completed the answers, she had filled in the missing part to my initial draft. SS then told me "Esther, I am so sorry that I didn't help at all. When school reopen, if there is anything that needs to be done, I will do it. ok?" With that remark, I thought she was so sweet to proactively wants to do something for our presentation.

Meeting today... Everything is 89% completed. After a short discussion we conclude that 1 more slide is needed and consolidation of the slides is needed as the group was previously separated into 2 halves to do 2 sets of questions. We are presenting in week23 wed and its week21 wed today. I said that we need to have all the slides ready for rehearsal by week22 wed. BUT!!! SS whom was tasked to consolidate and finalise the slides said NO! She can't do it and she said she DO NOT KNOW how to do a table on a slide!! And that she had to prepare her research presentation slides as well so she can't prepare the slides for this topic. Turning towards me she asked me to do it!!! WHAT?!?! HAD I NOT DONE ENOUGH FOR THE GROUP? AND JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW DOES WHY MUST I TAKE OVER IT? YOU SAID YOU WILL DO IT ONE WHAT?! SO IT IS JUST FOR SHOW IS IT? JUST TALK ONLY MAH NO NEED MONEY IS IT?

I said NO! Then she told me that she don't understand the topic too! *FAINT* We are going to present the topic and you don't know the topic? AND you have the cheek to tell me, you don't know so you can't do it!? I AM SO ANGRY! SO PISS! My face and voice must had changed because someone else intervene and proposed something else. My reaction... whatever lor. If that is what you (the leader) think and want.

Point no. 1:
Out of the 6 pple there, nobody wants to do anything. Only when arrow then do- talking abt
the MS group only here. Silience is GOLD huh?! *scorn* Last presentation I did 70% of the things already leh! (30% from the MH group).

Point no. 2:
I ALSO HAVE MY RESEARCH PREPARATION LOR! The world doesn't only spin around you babe! What you have I have too! You aren't the only poor victim here!

Point no. 3:
Don't always say "esther clever mah. she can handle it one lah". FFFFFFFF u. I am not the one with a Master degree here lor. Your research group give you shit, that's another issue! Don't drag it in!

In conclusion... FUCK myself lar! I can't sit around and wait for people to tell me "why don't we just rehearse with the content rather than having the finalised slides?" I took it upon myself to get the F-Shit done. But I will only add that 1 slide. If not for that stupid Woman meeting, I won't even bother. After that... Ms SS even if you decide not to finalise the changes or design, I won't be bother by that shit anymore! IF U THINK WE WILL NEVER FAIL THEN LETS SIT AROUND AND SEE HOW THEN!

such is the reason why people just don't like some people.