i can only imagine

I Can Only Imagine
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I can only imagine, What it will be like
When I walk, By your side

I can only imagine , What my eyes will see
When your face, Is before me
I can only imagine
I can only imagine

[Chorus:]
Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine
I can only imagine

I can only imagine, When that day comes
When I find myself, Standing in the Son

I can only imagine, When all I will do
Is forever, Forever worship You
I can only imagine
I can only imagine

[Chorus x2]

I can only imagine [x2]

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever, forever worship you
I can only imagine

Not preggie but just fat?

Met up with my friends the other day. I really miss those days when we could just hang out daily either in the library or the canteen sipping kopi. But 1 year had long past those 'wonderful' days. We had changed yet remained much the same. Nice... =)

M is going to be a bride soon! I am so happy for her! She had become prettier, the magical power of love? The girls didn't really believe I am into my 7th month! Hahaha... they think I don't look that BIG, which means I still look the same! Hahaha... The joy of being fat to start with? They said I looked like a little more like growing a beer belly rather than getting preg! LOL...

Body massage

After months of not having anyone "mishandling" my muscles and foot. I feel really great to get a body massage today! My inner tighs felt so relief and I suspect my tummy actually shrinked! LOL... Feeling good! =)

can't wait

another few more months but i am so restless already. can't wait for BB to come out soon but at the same time worry if she does come too soon, she may not be healthy and all. sigh... i am so bored! =((

K歌 BB =P

Babies are suppose to be able to detect vibrations from sounds in the environment and in the later part of their 5th month, they can hear it well. Brought EP to Kbox with friends yesterday. She must had been rather excited by the outing that she kept me awake the night before but nothing can really match my magical ability to sleep. hahaha... By the time she was tired out from all her jumping and thumping, it was my magical time to sleep! =))

During the lunch, EP was most decent and kept her cool even when faced with no her usual yum yum. Haha...The food was not to my liking so both EP and I had to tahan til we make it to 'round 2' to drink some coke at burger king! =) Then was to Kbox. The trip there was rather exciting, as the rain had seems to fade out. We made a quick escape to the building but that will means we will have to brave a section that is uncovered. While waiting for the traffic lights to turn green to our favour, the rain decided to POUR! Lucky I had got my umbrella out and was in time to shelter hubby and me. But a wave of scream came from the youngsters trapped unsheltered from the downpour. There were a bundle of 4 girls trapped under their (1 small) umbrella! However they move (or don't) they were going to be totally wet! LOL.... They kept standing even after we had moved off! Poor kids! =P

Kbox experience was so new to EP. Given that daddy nor mummy ever shout before and the TV was never loud enough to scare her. When she 1st heard hubby sang into the mic, she was startled and started kicking and boxing me. I believe she can identify daddy's voice cuz she always react to hubby and mine evening - chit chat time with great movements. But to hear her daddy at this great volume must be really new to her. She cooled down after a few songs and finally gotten used to the fact that was going to be normal. Then the cold set in, she was once again moving and fighting with me. It was really interesting for me. Perhaps wisdom kicks in and she decided to curl up and hide deeper into my tummy. She stoppped. And whenever I head out to the toilet she will then resurface and do her little dance. When we finally came out from Kbox, she flopped out from her hidding place (literally! I felt a pop sort of feeling with her coming to the front! LOL) and started to exercise. Must be to stretch her little limbs from all those curling up.

The entire night as if to tell me her exciting advantage, she was restless and kicking me on and off. Even into the early morning! Where did she get all those energy, I wonder?! Finally @ 11am or so, she is finally resting but poor me- no sleep at all. It's going to be fun in months to come when I finally cuddle her in my arms and see her coos and laugh! =))

pelvis pain- not pretty =/

the pain is constant made worst on movement (eg-walking, sit-> stand position). wonder if its the hormones or really the pain, i feel like crying sometime because of it. 4 days and i think i can't really tahan it already. can't imagine if i really go ahead with natural birth!? i might end up killing the nurses/ my hubby during that process! although the internet information tells me that its rather normal for such pain to occur, my worst fear is that baby will be coming out too soon. =( hopeful things will be smooth running all the way til march/ feb. =/

these days i am getting so tired that i can sleep past X hrs of the day. although i never did have problem sleeping extended hours since young, but now its really deep sleep! LOL. hopefully baby don't inherite such terrible trait from me! haha... if not she might well change her name to sleeping beauty! =P who on earth says that 2nd trimester is normally the least tiring?!?! i am not even in my last trimester and i am so tired already! =( plus i am not even working!!! gosh!! this is terrible.

the vaccum guy

recently went to a baby fair and saw a booth that was enticing people with free cooking pot + a free vaccum demo session. all things free aren't literally free- that's my living belief (everything comes with a price, the qn is... who's really paying for it). so i gave it a pass but being the ever thrifty one, my elder sister opt for it. the fact is, i knew abt the brand and the machine. it had been in sg for years! and i think my mom had such an experience with them at the mall once but at that time nobody really bother abt dust mites. (they aren't in the media then- not yet fully debut yet? =P) plus the price was crazy high then.

i agreed to the home demo on the account of a friend. got the free pot and heard the sales talk. pity the guy cuz he was sweating like mad and i didn't even offer him water. he vaccumed the sofa, 'clean' the air and took apart his machine to prove stuff to us. but as gentle as i could be, i can't committe a monthly 80-90 dollars for that. truthfully, to break cost down into X amt per month really don't work on me dear sales rep. with the insurance i have to save X amt/ mth, bills X amt/mth, food X amt/mth, transport X amt/mth, saving (if any left) X amt/mth, etc. regardless of how useful, helpful, healthy all these stuff can contribute to my finite lifespan, they are still stuff we can live without somehow. also the fact is what i think is important may differ from urs but i won't force it on u, so neither should u honey. =)

other reasons that didn't make the sales enticing to me includes:
1- allergy/ asthma as much as they may (and had to some extend proven) be caused by dust mites, the are also multiply factors that contribute to it. such as temp, personal/ family med. hx and environment
2- dust in the air WILL NEVER and CAN NEVER cease 100% so why bother are we trying to fight a losing battle? either we try breathing pure O2 or live in space, we will have to somehow get use to dust and live with it. i rather my kid grow a set of super strong nose hair that filter well than set her in an environment so clean that she can't live in other 'dirtier' ones.
3- finally the truth is... the word clean is subjective. i don't mind a little dirt and mess, in fact when things are too clean- i get a little frighten by it. haha... yes, i am not quite fine up there. =P

tired n bored

had been clearing stuff from the house. it had been really tiring but rewarding to see the useless stuffs cleared. but the more i dig the more such useless junk pops out. am i living in a can or worms or what? i am so bored with all those manual work now! yet i had started and now the house is in a big mess! gosh!! i can't stop til i have at least clear the standing junk. my energy is totally drained! lucky for me, no cell at my place this week so i can let the junk stock up over the weekend! =) the only perk? *sigh*

Faith

faith is believing despite not seeing. there was once a pastor who tried to explain faith, he describe it as: when we sit on a chair we trust that it will hold out weight and that is fatih of some sort. very abstract but at that time, i didn't really have an issue with having faith in God so i didn't think much of it.

recently i found another way of making faith easy to understand- by my experience. =) being preg. i realise there are days i would wake up feeling normal - not preg. at all. without the ultra super bump some mummies are spotted with, i just feel fine and perhaps a little fatter. sometime i would get a little panicky and wonder if the baby is indeed inside me and growing?! it really take faith to believe in what may not be seen with the nake eyes but still it is indeed there cuz we can sense it and there is always signs of it being present. for my case- an amazing dark line that appear out of nowhere running down the middle of my tummy. =)) how amazing!! =))

there are times when God seems really really real - esp. when He answer a prayer for a particular thing, there are times when we feel Him far and wonder if He really care or even hear our cries. regardless of them all, God is still present and it takes faith to believe He is indeed there for us. =)) On days of my ultrasound, i may get to see little baby's heartbeat and get affirmed of this little life-force in me but on days when i don't get to see that pounding little heart, i believe that the little life substaining organ is still present and pumping. =)

being who and what i am today had allow me to understand God a little deeper but yet His ways are higher and not mine, i don't think i will ever fully understand how He feels for all of us earthlings. =) yet i am glad to devote my life time to know Him more each day and season of my life. =)

funny new relevation.

since i am not working for the time being, i had been spending a good amount of time with my elder sister and mum. i don't think i had ever spent that much time with my family members. since i don't enjoy prolong hours of social interaction at times. but these time spent recently had been really enjoyable and at times funny. as usual mum will update us on lives of people whom i ought to know, actually i think i do but i can't match names to those faces which i may/ may not had seen years ago! =P

then recently mummy said something which made my elder sister and i bursted into laughter! =) a friend of my mum said to her once that my elder sister is the sort that is very pretty @ 1st sight and i am the sort that is pretty to look @ for a long time. but if my mummy was to have boys, they will look really handsome. haha... of cuz that must be before my brothers were borne. but it was really funny. anyway my brothers were actually very cute and handsome when they were kids now... hmm.. they are just cute. LOL.... =P

MTV-China: oldies review

hahaha... i realised i am an oldie!! cuz all the songs that i thot i had enjoyed and able to sing along are those in the oldies segment! hahaha... barely 30s and i am old? felt weird but i suppose with the new generation that matures and ages ever so fast, i am indeed and oldie? lol... health related books which states 60s as the young-old seriously ought to review it! haha... 60s may be considered the mega dino-age range and for those above 60s perhaps to the young kids are considered fossiles?! i can't imagine that! heehee...

oldies

its amazing how people love to look back and magnify the events past. perhaps that's what make us human, having the ability to reflect and improve?

some songs popped up in my brain this evening and i remembered singing them during my growing years (now is considered my aging years! LOL). the comfort they brought me and how they had touched me, that even listening to them again tonight; tears are welling up! wonder if you too have those sort of memories for certain songs in your life?

animals-God's creations

how interesting! animals can communicate thru ultra-sonic waves and they can even pick up tiny small sonic waves/ sounds made in the earthcrust! their acute sense of smelling to track down their own kinds/ the others must be a God given gift!

i wonder why when the human race ate from the forbidden fruit of wisdom didn't they pick up any of those traits? hmm... maybe becoz' they forgot to chew thru the food (fruit) or... they didn't finish the 'food on the plate' (fruit) as their parents would had taught them?! LOL... lame and bad joke material huh?! =P

i think its amazing how God create us all different and unique, all creatures (man and animals) AMAZING....

transit

the excitment of finally getting it was soon overwhelmed by the side effects that it brought. bringing me much frustration but when the danger alarms rung, i stuck my tail between my legs cursing myself for harming the helpless ones. sigh... its really not easy, really not. sigh...

Mr Snail's adventures

Sounds like a cute title for some kids' books.
Anyone writting one, this is my suggestion... the series can explore stuff in the yard and during wet season when kids have to stay indoors. =( the series can end with the snail getting smashed by somebody stepping on it! heehe... or getting dehydrated while trying to walk over a dry pathway. LOL... ya ya.. i am sadist in some ways (more than 1) lol...

Chin up

I had been brooding about my present. Where I am physically and how I am yet thrown into the pool without a bouy to hold on to, just like it was in the past. Familiar with the cases and the likes of my previous workplace, I kept thinking I will fare better there. But I know I can't do it, even if I move back I will be facing yet a whole new group of people and the dynamics would had certainly changed.

So what is my plan? To stay on and strive forward. Perhaps I should seriously stop showing my unhappy face to people who ask me how is my new environment. If I smile and tell myself it is good maybe it will work the way I think it is? Maybe then... I will do it.

I wanted air-con, nurse A+ patients (to experience those rumored crap) and surgical. So I got my 'wish' why shoulod I complaint anymore? Hmm... Smile...

blood types

i was reading somewhere ( and anywhere on the world wide web of cuz!) that there are actually more than the A, B, AB, O types of blood groups in the world. The problem is those other 'minority' are or had been 'killed off' in the stages of 'revamping' human race.

not surprising really. considering the rule of nature 'the survival of the fitness' ya? so those 'incapable' of reproduction just have to die off naturally. plus those genetically unwell and pro to sickness. those that survived the risked of being killed off must now preserve their life well, inter-breed for purer blood? nah... it was written that those pure breed doggies suffer from congenitical heart disease or some sort of sinuses problem. so purer may not mean better species huh? so what should be the solution?

maybe 1 unified blood type? then we will have no problem with blood bank's low stock problem? and everyone can donate their blood, marrow and even organs to anyone else. life will be simpler and gosh! i sound so communist. perhaps that idea isn't too bad but the execuation of that idea will be totally bad. afterall power corrupts ya?

when it is the end...what will become of you?

This time won't be the water, the solution is no longer an ark. Those that copied the ark had been strike down before, this time will be no difference. Nobody can predict the time and the location but we all know it is here now. Any time now.

Should the Mayans be right or even if Nostradamus' drawing did indeed was pointing at something more than the end; what are we going to do? Cease all human reproduction? Go retreat into the woods and mediate? Or perhaps proactively reduce global warming?

I am ready. When the end comes, I wish that I will be put to work by His favor. I know I ought to be careful with what I wish and pray for. So far things had indeed moved the way I had prayed for. So should I pray to be the one to feed the hungry and heal the sick, will I be the group that's 'left behind'? Yet my selfish self hopes, if I am left behind for whatever reasons let my family be called home to His glorious presences.

pinky n e brain?

the result for the yakda-yakda competition is out, i am not the speaker and i am not upset. it had been a interesting trip learning and observing how different people think and communicate. even more interesting is how people percieve things. hahaha... the ever so diplomatic me love peace and less arugment please. =) hahaha... anyway although i am not in the speaker group, i am still involve in the 'research' (side-kick) group. hmm.. now that i have 1 topic secured in my PPA what should i plan next? wohahaha..

this is what are actually want.

we are all just self centered individuals wanting the world to spin at our bidding. should we be given the power to dictate and bend the rule of life, may all expectations be answered and results be instant and painless. this is what we had all become.

新不了情

re-watch this film again today. it had always been my favourite. its music, its story and the cast. it reminds me of the people that i work with daily. i may take it as a job and detest the wimpy and grumpy fellow that is lying on the bed. but like will i know of their past, present and future. i salute the family members that come daily to speak words of encouragement and faith into their love ones. while the fact is that they are the ones that really need those encourage and lift in their faiths. i may think they are being difficult but the truth is that is the only way they can express their love for their sick love ones. perhaps that is the only thing and method they can sense that little control in their lives that this point of time. perhaps the road along pallative, a good death is the best way to go. the truth at the end of the journey awaits the faithful one...

i had been thinking... so many people had express their interest in wound management and so had i. how many stoma nurse, wound care management nurse or even vascular do the nation needs? with the greying population and the increase of chronic illness management, perhaps i should pursue my interest in dealing with the dying? although i am high on mercy, i am intolerant to stuff that i can't control. death is certain but the time is beyond my call, the doctors not even the mediums in the temples. but its the will of God to bring the family, the individual through the suffering... who am i to say anything i always feel... plus i always free that a good death is one that not necessary prolong death but to reduce the suffering. i fear my emotions may overtake me and lead me astray if i walk into the grey... hmm... so where am i heading?

In sa Allah

am i happy? i can't answer for sure but at least i am getting by. once i can't understand why would and how could someone cry every morning when she reaches her office building now i do. the stress, anxiety and fear of facing the day and lots more. it doesn't matter if one if a believer or not, it's really hard to be all Godly and great in the face "danger". the 1 month of attachment does nothing to smoothen the transition but perhaps it did i can't say for sure too. hmm... so what is it that i am sure of?! 1 thing for sure is that i am still learning and sometime learning it the hard way. i miss the gentle reminders and the learning by observation and copying the seniors in my old ward. i miss those seniors that had all left for other postings and the fun way they interact with each other at work. still life goes on and i am still coping. with the help of God i shall too smile at the footsteps that i had left behind.

missing u...

i am missing u... i want to eat beef steak from hog breath!!! hm... =(

2010

happy new year to u and u and u =)